I have just gone through todays paper.
Today however, iam not jazzed by my column. On page 12-the daily gossip- is a story about Toxic and her lost love.
Normally, the first thing i do is turn to page 14, i cant wait to read my story. Something caught my attention in the 'daily gossip'. the story about 'Toxic and her lost love.' You can imagine my shock at realising the guy being talked about is my EX!
Apparently he has been dating Toxic for 5 months and has been pleading with the girl to declare their love to the world. She chooses Nairobi star to say it and when the reporters call the guy to find if its true, he denies going out with her. Reason? he is actually living with some chick with whom they have a baby.
The juicy part; he is an aspiring ODM member of parliament. The shock wore off to be replaced my bouts of laughter and gigles.
People go through breakups, but there is always that one break up that changes you completely. I havent dated eversince i broke up with this guy in 2003. I discovered the safety of casual sex and learnt how to detach myself from people and from mushy and touchy situations. I came up with my countless list of 'things not to do with/for men.'
Don't blame me but this guy hurt me so bad i had on record a weight of 30kgs! Considering a year later i had HIV issues to deal with, i sort of forgot he existed.
Every woman will also confess to you that we get alot of satisfaction in finding out our ex's aren't having a good day.
To wake up today and read this makes my day. seriously it does.
Pray the guy doesnt get to page 14. thats where my column is. I'd give up alcohol for a month to see his face!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
CONFESSION.
I have just read my story on today's(Tuesday) Nairobi star and as usual iam teary. Okay i know this sounds weird. i write the stories, but when i read the paper, its like someone else wrote this and iam reading it just like you.
Yesterday i walked into an office full of women exchanging- wait for this- "how i lost my virginity stories". Interesting believe me. Iam talking women in the age of 35 onwards. I was so interested one because some of them are my bosses, and because sex is my favourite topic of discussion...-iam Luo;enuf said.
I wont even repeat these stories in detail; but the killer one was for this mama who had it for the first time at age 10 behind their hao with the shamba boy. She says she enjoyed it; Oh and so as not to get pregnant, they would wash their 'you know what' with salt and lemon.i dont know how much of that is really true.
This i want to try; i havent been to a cofffe plantation; iam told there are terraces of coffee and sex on them is heaven. So i will find me a man and go for an expedition in Muranga! ha.
See the thing about women is we can fit in any age group and still find the same topic okay to talk about. And to think these people talk 'Watoto wa sikuhizi...' lines. crazy.
I didnt make give my story though. I wouldnt match these people even if i tried. So Y'all get to hear my 'How i lost my virginity.' confession. I must warn you though, my own mum didnt believe this.
Okay i was 18 and verrrrrrrrrrrrry naive. I was fat and cut my hair short. My sister(she is a year younger)was the primadonna. Pretty and a favourite with the boys. No guy even saw my existance. so i would sit in my room, read romance novels and fantasize. Then Romeo comes along and picks me over my sister.She was so mad she didnt talk to me for months! Suddenly i want to look okay for Romeo.Okay isnt even the word, I want to look hot. Which i did in a couple of months.My mum couldn't believe how fast i lost weight.
Romeo& i go out for about a year but i see him in between school holidays. if i manage to sneak out of home. (i was in boarding school)
Then i maliza my form4 i have mioto's.The last day of school, I make a detour to my handsome romeo's home. My parents won't even notice if i get home a few minutes late. Its my sister they are worried about.
Romeo is excited to see me. We missed each other. I on the other hand want my fantasies comming true. We head straight for his room to make out. So we kiss and do stuff and before i know it my pants are off. Si i start the 'no to mean yes' moan. Here's the killer guys- before i could say 'take me,' Romeo was done! I mean the guy didnt even go in! I remember lying there and wondering "thats not what the books say its supposed to feel." I was 'in love'! how can it not feel right?
Then Romeo is up telling me that he is sorry, and that this only happened because iam too preety and sweet-it worked then- But now, Please! I had to run home because it was getting late and i didnt want my parents asking where i had gone to. He promises me it will be heaven next time.
There was no next time. I was pregnant and dumped by week 2!
So whats yo' story?
Yesterday i walked into an office full of women exchanging- wait for this- "how i lost my virginity stories". Interesting believe me. Iam talking women in the age of 35 onwards. I was so interested one because some of them are my bosses, and because sex is my favourite topic of discussion...-iam Luo;enuf said.
I wont even repeat these stories in detail; but the killer one was for this mama who had it for the first time at age 10 behind their hao with the shamba boy. She says she enjoyed it; Oh and so as not to get pregnant, they would wash their 'you know what' with salt and lemon.i dont know how much of that is really true.
This i want to try; i havent been to a cofffe plantation; iam told there are terraces of coffee and sex on them is heaven. So i will find me a man and go for an expedition in Muranga! ha.
See the thing about women is we can fit in any age group and still find the same topic okay to talk about. And to think these people talk 'Watoto wa sikuhizi...' lines. crazy.
I didnt make give my story though. I wouldnt match these people even if i tried. So Y'all get to hear my 'How i lost my virginity.' confession. I must warn you though, my own mum didnt believe this.
Okay i was 18 and verrrrrrrrrrrrry naive. I was fat and cut my hair short. My sister(she is a year younger)was the primadonna. Pretty and a favourite with the boys. No guy even saw my existance. so i would sit in my room, read romance novels and fantasize. Then Romeo comes along and picks me over my sister.She was so mad she didnt talk to me for months! Suddenly i want to look okay for Romeo.Okay isnt even the word, I want to look hot. Which i did in a couple of months.My mum couldn't believe how fast i lost weight.
Romeo& i go out for about a year but i see him in between school holidays. if i manage to sneak out of home. (i was in boarding school)
Then i maliza my form4 i have mioto's.The last day of school, I make a detour to my handsome romeo's home. My parents won't even notice if i get home a few minutes late. Its my sister they are worried about.
Romeo is excited to see me. We missed each other. I on the other hand want my fantasies comming true. We head straight for his room to make out. So we kiss and do stuff and before i know it my pants are off. Si i start the 'no to mean yes' moan. Here's the killer guys- before i could say 'take me,' Romeo was done! I mean the guy didnt even go in! I remember lying there and wondering "thats not what the books say its supposed to feel." I was 'in love'! how can it not feel right?
Then Romeo is up telling me that he is sorry, and that this only happened because iam too preety and sweet-it worked then- But now, Please! I had to run home because it was getting late and i didnt want my parents asking where i had gone to. He promises me it will be heaven next time.
There was no next time. I was pregnant and dumped by week 2!
So whats yo' story?
Sunday, October 7, 2007
OCTOBER 2ND
This is one day i dont really want to forget ever. Alot happened on this day. Most of it positive.
I had just come back from TZ to find a very big pile of work on my desk on Monday Morning. Iam way past the deadline on alot of stuff so i plan to have a busy day;or week.
I check my mail and... i have mail from 'Alehandro' look alike and from 'Mr. romantic german.'
The German as expected wrote a long mail pouring out his heart and feelings. Boring. Honestly i hate it when i can be able to figure out a guy in about 5min. (Barney's lemon law) Most of the time iam always right.
Alehandro sent me a very short message but it got me smiling;and cursing at my periods the whole day. You see if i didnt have them, then me and this guy would have done more than high school makeouts.
Fast forward to Tuesday 2nd. I get to work, i plan to finish my stories for our office newsletter. I get a promotion and pay rise. Awesome. i dont even get time to be happy, there is so much to do.
By evening iam tired. As we leave the office, iam faced with the hostility that comes with rising up the ladder too fast. most of the guys here arent happy with me and cant even hide it. For a moment i feel so alone.
I really cant understand why they arent happy for me. They know where i came from,they have seen me work so hard to get to where iam right now. iam almost teary.
I call fai and ask her to come over for "The Monday drink." I honestly could do with a drink but i cant take any alcohol because i have my clinic visit on Wednesday.
I get home, hakuna stima,so i go to this swahili shop to eat bajias; and wait for fai
Fai gets here and i dont even say hie, i start crying; in the middle of the road. She is shocked. I dont cry much. not these days. We go to our joint and have this very short talk about it.
Five minutes later iam as good as new. Filling her in on my Tanzanian men and all. She decides to stay over and we choma nyama for supper. I call my sis and ask her to join us there after work.
9 p.m I get a call from my friend in Kisumu. He sounds excited. He is reading my story. "What story ?" i ask surprised.
You should have heard me scream at the end of that call.
Nairobi star finally published the first page of my diary. I was so happy i couldnt eat. Honestly i didnt even sleep well.
On this day i got two things i had been slaving for patiently for five months. Its like finally seeing the light at the end of this long dark tunnel. Exciting!
So y'all reading this in Kenya, please buy tomorrows Nairobi star. If you are able to, email your comment or call them(Nairobi star). Its good for my rating.
I had just come back from TZ to find a very big pile of work on my desk on Monday Morning. Iam way past the deadline on alot of stuff so i plan to have a busy day;or week.
I check my mail and... i have mail from 'Alehandro' look alike and from 'Mr. romantic german.'
The German as expected wrote a long mail pouring out his heart and feelings. Boring. Honestly i hate it when i can be able to figure out a guy in about 5min. (Barney's lemon law) Most of the time iam always right.
Alehandro sent me a very short message but it got me smiling;and cursing at my periods the whole day. You see if i didnt have them, then me and this guy would have done more than high school makeouts.
Fast forward to Tuesday 2nd. I get to work, i plan to finish my stories for our office newsletter. I get a promotion and pay rise. Awesome. i dont even get time to be happy, there is so much to do.
By evening iam tired. As we leave the office, iam faced with the hostility that comes with rising up the ladder too fast. most of the guys here arent happy with me and cant even hide it. For a moment i feel so alone.
I really cant understand why they arent happy for me. They know where i came from,they have seen me work so hard to get to where iam right now. iam almost teary.
I call fai and ask her to come over for "The Monday drink." I honestly could do with a drink but i cant take any alcohol because i have my clinic visit on Wednesday.
I get home, hakuna stima,so i go to this swahili shop to eat bajias; and wait for fai
Fai gets here and i dont even say hie, i start crying; in the middle of the road. She is shocked. I dont cry much. not these days. We go to our joint and have this very short talk about it.
Five minutes later iam as good as new. Filling her in on my Tanzanian men and all. She decides to stay over and we choma nyama for supper. I call my sis and ask her to join us there after work.
9 p.m I get a call from my friend in Kisumu. He sounds excited. He is reading my story. "What story ?" i ask surprised.
You should have heard me scream at the end of that call.
Nairobi star finally published the first page of my diary. I was so happy i couldnt eat. Honestly i didnt even sleep well.
On this day i got two things i had been slaving for patiently for five months. Its like finally seeing the light at the end of this long dark tunnel. Exciting!
So y'all reading this in Kenya, please buy tomorrows Nairobi star. If you are able to, email your comment or call them(Nairobi star). Its good for my rating.
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