World AIDS Day!
According to UNAIDS estimates, there are now 39.5 million people living with HIV, including 2.3 million children. During 2006 some 4.3 million people became newly infected with the virus. Around half of all people who become infected with HIV do so before they are 25 and are killed by AIDS before they are 35.
Around 95% of people with HIV/AIDS live in developing nations. But HIV today is a threat to men, women and children on all continents around the world.
Started on 1st December 1988, World AIDS Day is not just about raising money, but also about increasing awareness, fighting prejudice and improving education. World AIDS Day is important in reminding people that HIV has not gone away, and that there are many things still to be done.
The theme for World AIDS Day 2007
World AIDS Day was originally organised by UNAIDS, who chose the theme after consultation with other organisations. In 2005 UNAIDS handed over responsibility for World AIDS Day to an independent organisation known as The World AIDS Campaign (WAC).
The WAC’s slogan for their work is "Stop AIDS: Keep the Promise". This is an appeal to governments, policy makers and regional health authorities to ensure that they meet the many targets that have been set in the fight against HIV and AIDS, and especially the promise of universal access to HIV treatment, care, support and prevention services by 2010.
This campaign will run until 2010, with a related theme chosen for World AIDS Day each year.
The 2007 theme, “leadership”, highlights the need for innovation, vision and perseverance in the face of the AIDS challenge. The campaign calls on all sectors of society such as families, communities and civil society organisations - rather than just governments - to take the initiative and provide leadership on AIDS.
Wherever we are, we can ‘take the lead’ and do our part in the fight against HIV/AIDS
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
REAPING FROM GOOD..............
Most times we often wonder why we should be good to people. I know because i get lectures about what a fool i am whenever i try to help and i end up being played- happens most of the time.
My friend Doris once told me i don't know how to look for the bad in people. Maybe she was right. Well situations make us change though.
So a few years later and living with this virus has made me a little weary of people and what they can do. Still old habits die hard. I am still easily reduced to tears at sad stories i hear from the women we serve. I feel so bad whenever i can't be able to help.
Mondays are my days in the office, i get to meet all the women in need of seed money as capital for business. I have to listen to their stories and decide which cases are needy. At the end of the day; whatever issue i have looks 'small'. -this should explain why i love my Monday drinks.
I have always been the 'mother Teresa' of the crowd. I still I'm to some extent only this time non of the people around me; friends and family will let me overindulge in the virtue/vice. You see most of the time when you give yourself to something or someone without question,you end up hurt.
A bout a year after my HIV positive verdict i took on the role of ' Aunt Tabby.' Everyone comes to me with all these problems they cant tell anyone. 'My boyfriend is cheating on me, what do i do?" or ' i have this condition is it normal?' or ' i want to go for a VCT test please take me.' I try to be there. Most of the time i give my all. My friends- the true ones have been with me through 'lots of stuff'.
I learnt something last week. That doing good isn't always in Vain. There will always be those bad cases but the good ones bring so much joy.
Last week, i was stressed because of something and i just couldn't be able to make a decision about what to do. I confided in one of my friends and afterwards i knew what i had to do. You see all she did was remind me something i said to her once. " People treat you the way you let them." I say this to my friends all the time. I also tell them to give their best to people so they can demand the best from them.
I never knew all this would rub off on me someday. Well whatever you do, it doesn't hurt to be Kidogo kind to someone, you just might never know what you reap from it.
My friend Doris once told me i don't know how to look for the bad in people. Maybe she was right. Well situations make us change though.
So a few years later and living with this virus has made me a little weary of people and what they can do. Still old habits die hard. I am still easily reduced to tears at sad stories i hear from the women we serve. I feel so bad whenever i can't be able to help.
Mondays are my days in the office, i get to meet all the women in need of seed money as capital for business. I have to listen to their stories and decide which cases are needy. At the end of the day; whatever issue i have looks 'small'. -this should explain why i love my Monday drinks.
I have always been the 'mother Teresa' of the crowd. I still I'm to some extent only this time non of the people around me; friends and family will let me overindulge in the virtue/vice. You see most of the time when you give yourself to something or someone without question,you end up hurt.
A bout a year after my HIV positive verdict i took on the role of ' Aunt Tabby.' Everyone comes to me with all these problems they cant tell anyone. 'My boyfriend is cheating on me, what do i do?" or ' i have this condition is it normal?' or ' i want to go for a VCT test please take me.' I try to be there. Most of the time i give my all. My friends- the true ones have been with me through 'lots of stuff'.
I learnt something last week. That doing good isn't always in Vain. There will always be those bad cases but the good ones bring so much joy.
Last week, i was stressed because of something and i just couldn't be able to make a decision about what to do. I confided in one of my friends and afterwards i knew what i had to do. You see all she did was remind me something i said to her once. " People treat you the way you let them." I say this to my friends all the time. I also tell them to give their best to people so they can demand the best from them.
I never knew all this would rub off on me someday. Well whatever you do, it doesn't hurt to be Kidogo kind to someone, you just might never know what you reap from it.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
JUST ASKING........
This past week has been full of fun. I had friends I haven’t seen in years visiting. It was like being in Coast (where I grew up) and Kisumu (where my family is at the moment) again; the catching up and the gossip...... refreshing.
My mum was around for a whole week; I spent everyday after work taking her round and going shopping. I haven’t ever gone shopping with my mum, the few times she took my sister and I to a shop to buy dresses when we were young, were always disastrous.
My friend Diana from Kisumu was here to meet an Internet ‘hook up’ but thought it wise to say hie before she goes for her ‘romp in the sack'.
My friend Kombo from Voi who I haven’t seen in almost two years was here to do his political stuff and passed by for a half an hour.
Then my cousin came to stay over for three days. She was here for an interview. I haven’t seen her since graduation; she decided to get married at our 4th year of cole'.
She chose the ‘bad boy of our class to get married to. Everyone was shocked. Every man who was pursuing her (she was the perfect pretty and soft woman.) either cried or got absolutely drunk once the news was out.
I had to tell her about my being HIV positive and she opened up a lot about her marriage and her fears. She hasn't gone for the test and is so scared. I added two and two when she confessed she told the interview panel she would love to work anywhere KCB posts her. I saw her off on Saturday night and promised to keep in touch.
She gets home on Sunday morning to a rude shock. her husband isn’t in the house at seven in the morning and on top of their rumpled bed is a condom. Yes a condom. The best excuse her husband has when he walks in after 20 minutes is he took the condoms from the office. I spend 30 minutes listening to her and trying to say the right words to sort of ease the pain. Pain I know she will carry with her most of today.
At the end of that call i had this feeling...like my past was catching up with me, de' javu.
Can somebody tell me what drives a man to bring another woman other than his wife to his marital bed? Why does a man cheat on his girlfriend or wife or whatever?
I mean what makes a man who knows his wife is in a night bus get a woman to their house, their bed (this is disgusting) and fuck her? Okay, thank God he used a rubber. Honestly at least he has some sense.
What makes a man leave his office, go back to his house when his wife is at work, to do his house help?
What makes a man who proclaims he loves a woman to pieces and has a baby with her cheat?This guy cant even afford to pay for the baby's upkeep and the woman has to deal with this.She after some thought decides to take his sorry broke ass back just for the sake of the baby or whatever. What makes such a guy cheat on a woman? i am already raising our child without your help and fucking you because you begged me to.
What makes a man look at a woman across the room in a pub, lie to his girlfriend that he is going to the gents only to go screw her at the parking lot in his car or on the bonnet of someones car? (That was my boyfriend.)
What makes a guy screw a hooker when his girlfriend is just three meters away stupidly in love and waiting for him to come back from wherever he excused himself to go to? (My boyfriend again) I wonder do they use a condom all of these times they cheat?
I mean I don’t want to believe this but lets just say that hypothetically I may be the most boring woman you ever took to bed, sessions with me could be so boring you cry when you ejaculate but why not just dump me? Why not save me the torture of seeing you treating me like trash?
Why? At these moments do you suffer selective amnesia? Like, do you forget you have a wife or girlfriend? Or what happens? I’d love to know.
When you are done and come back to me in the pub, sit down and go on drinking don’t you feel a tad guilty? Well don’t you? What do you tell yourself at these moments? do you tell yourself you're ‘the man?’ are you proud? do you feel strong or do you feel powerful or what? Seriously do you tell yourself that you had a right? Because I am a boring woman in bed? Or what do you tell yourself?
Why embarrass me this much? Bringing a woman to my marital bed? That’s low.
Fucking my girlfriends for the thrill of it, that’s low too. Fucking a hooker when in the parking lot of some pub is lame. For whatever reasons. Why did you bring me to the place with you anyway?
I understand that men a hunters by nature. Believe me i understand. i know that once in a while they need the thrill of hunting for fresh prey but honestly can't you hunt somewhere far from me? why don't you go to the next country and find yourself a woman there.Why my neighbour or friend or house help or cousin why?
Seriously are relationships worth having? Is marriage a dangerous place to be in? I went out with a guy for only six months, six and I had the ‘grand heartbreak’ and HIV. Six months of pain and tears and embarrassments I don’t want to mention. Now I have to deal with having HIV for the rest of my life. Does he ever think of this when he is sticking it up all the random women in the darkness of parking lots?
I can’t believe i am crying as I write this. Do you know what happens when you are in such relationships? You beg for him to change, and cry like crazy just so he feels you. Then you do stupid stuff to try and make him change. You do the lowest stuff like call the women on his phone and yell at those you suspect could be the one s he is sleeping with. Then you yell at him because you don’t seem to be getting anywhere. You get embarrassed when your friends ask you what’s going on. Because they saw him with another woman at a function you and him were invited to. Then slowly you get indifferent. You just don’t care anymore, or so you think. And this thing eats up your heart and your feelings and by the time you decide to leave you are so dead inside you don’t even cry.Because you feel nothing but empty.
That was me end of 2003. This is my cousin today. And hearing her voice on the phone 20 minutes ago, I couldn't help wondering why I let someone hurt me this bad.
Everything happens for a reason i guess for i know better now.
My mum was around for a whole week; I spent everyday after work taking her round and going shopping. I haven’t ever gone shopping with my mum, the few times she took my sister and I to a shop to buy dresses when we were young, were always disastrous.
My friend Diana from Kisumu was here to meet an Internet ‘hook up’ but thought it wise to say hie before she goes for her ‘romp in the sack'.
My friend Kombo from Voi who I haven’t seen in almost two years was here to do his political stuff and passed by for a half an hour.
Then my cousin came to stay over for three days. She was here for an interview. I haven’t seen her since graduation; she decided to get married at our 4th year of cole'.
She chose the ‘bad boy of our class to get married to. Everyone was shocked. Every man who was pursuing her (she was the perfect pretty and soft woman.) either cried or got absolutely drunk once the news was out.
I had to tell her about my being HIV positive and she opened up a lot about her marriage and her fears. She hasn't gone for the test and is so scared. I added two and two when she confessed she told the interview panel she would love to work anywhere KCB posts her. I saw her off on Saturday night and promised to keep in touch.
She gets home on Sunday morning to a rude shock. her husband isn’t in the house at seven in the morning and on top of their rumpled bed is a condom. Yes a condom. The best excuse her husband has when he walks in after 20 minutes is he took the condoms from the office. I spend 30 minutes listening to her and trying to say the right words to sort of ease the pain. Pain I know she will carry with her most of today.
At the end of that call i had this feeling...like my past was catching up with me, de' javu.
Can somebody tell me what drives a man to bring another woman other than his wife to his marital bed? Why does a man cheat on his girlfriend or wife or whatever?
I mean what makes a man who knows his wife is in a night bus get a woman to their house, their bed (this is disgusting) and fuck her? Okay, thank God he used a rubber. Honestly at least he has some sense.
What makes a man leave his office, go back to his house when his wife is at work, to do his house help?
What makes a man who proclaims he loves a woman to pieces and has a baby with her cheat?This guy cant even afford to pay for the baby's upkeep and the woman has to deal with this.She after some thought decides to take his sorry broke ass back just for the sake of the baby or whatever. What makes such a guy cheat on a woman? i am already raising our child without your help and fucking you because you begged me to.
What makes a man look at a woman across the room in a pub, lie to his girlfriend that he is going to the gents only to go screw her at the parking lot in his car or on the bonnet of someones car? (That was my boyfriend.)
What makes a guy screw a hooker when his girlfriend is just three meters away stupidly in love and waiting for him to come back from wherever he excused himself to go to? (My boyfriend again) I wonder do they use a condom all of these times they cheat?
I mean I don’t want to believe this but lets just say that hypothetically I may be the most boring woman you ever took to bed, sessions with me could be so boring you cry when you ejaculate but why not just dump me? Why not save me the torture of seeing you treating me like trash?
Why? At these moments do you suffer selective amnesia? Like, do you forget you have a wife or girlfriend? Or what happens? I’d love to know.
When you are done and come back to me in the pub, sit down and go on drinking don’t you feel a tad guilty? Well don’t you? What do you tell yourself at these moments? do you tell yourself you're ‘the man?’ are you proud? do you feel strong or do you feel powerful or what? Seriously do you tell yourself that you had a right? Because I am a boring woman in bed? Or what do you tell yourself?
Why embarrass me this much? Bringing a woman to my marital bed? That’s low.
Fucking my girlfriends for the thrill of it, that’s low too. Fucking a hooker when in the parking lot of some pub is lame. For whatever reasons. Why did you bring me to the place with you anyway?
I understand that men a hunters by nature. Believe me i understand. i know that once in a while they need the thrill of hunting for fresh prey but honestly can't you hunt somewhere far from me? why don't you go to the next country and find yourself a woman there.Why my neighbour or friend or house help or cousin why?
Seriously are relationships worth having? Is marriage a dangerous place to be in? I went out with a guy for only six months, six and I had the ‘grand heartbreak’ and HIV. Six months of pain and tears and embarrassments I don’t want to mention. Now I have to deal with having HIV for the rest of my life. Does he ever think of this when he is sticking it up all the random women in the darkness of parking lots?
I can’t believe i am crying as I write this. Do you know what happens when you are in such relationships? You beg for him to change, and cry like crazy just so he feels you. Then you do stupid stuff to try and make him change. You do the lowest stuff like call the women on his phone and yell at those you suspect could be the one s he is sleeping with. Then you yell at him because you don’t seem to be getting anywhere. You get embarrassed when your friends ask you what’s going on. Because they saw him with another woman at a function you and him were invited to. Then slowly you get indifferent. You just don’t care anymore, or so you think. And this thing eats up your heart and your feelings and by the time you decide to leave you are so dead inside you don’t even cry.Because you feel nothing but empty.
That was me end of 2003. This is my cousin today. And hearing her voice on the phone 20 minutes ago, I couldn't help wondering why I let someone hurt me this bad.
Everything happens for a reason i guess for i know better now.
Monday, October 22, 2007
MY EX, The gossip
I have just gone through todays paper.
Today however, iam not jazzed by my column. On page 12-the daily gossip- is a story about Toxic and her lost love.
Normally, the first thing i do is turn to page 14, i cant wait to read my story. Something caught my attention in the 'daily gossip'. the story about 'Toxic and her lost love.' You can imagine my shock at realising the guy being talked about is my EX!
Apparently he has been dating Toxic for 5 months and has been pleading with the girl to declare their love to the world. She chooses Nairobi star to say it and when the reporters call the guy to find if its true, he denies going out with her. Reason? he is actually living with some chick with whom they have a baby.
The juicy part; he is an aspiring ODM member of parliament. The shock wore off to be replaced my bouts of laughter and gigles.
People go through breakups, but there is always that one break up that changes you completely. I havent dated eversince i broke up with this guy in 2003. I discovered the safety of casual sex and learnt how to detach myself from people and from mushy and touchy situations. I came up with my countless list of 'things not to do with/for men.'
Don't blame me but this guy hurt me so bad i had on record a weight of 30kgs! Considering a year later i had HIV issues to deal with, i sort of forgot he existed.
Every woman will also confess to you that we get alot of satisfaction in finding out our ex's aren't having a good day.
To wake up today and read this makes my day. seriously it does.
Pray the guy doesnt get to page 14. thats where my column is. I'd give up alcohol for a month to see his face!
Today however, iam not jazzed by my column. On page 12-the daily gossip- is a story about Toxic and her lost love.
Normally, the first thing i do is turn to page 14, i cant wait to read my story. Something caught my attention in the 'daily gossip'. the story about 'Toxic and her lost love.' You can imagine my shock at realising the guy being talked about is my EX!
Apparently he has been dating Toxic for 5 months and has been pleading with the girl to declare their love to the world. She chooses Nairobi star to say it and when the reporters call the guy to find if its true, he denies going out with her. Reason? he is actually living with some chick with whom they have a baby.
The juicy part; he is an aspiring ODM member of parliament. The shock wore off to be replaced my bouts of laughter and gigles.
People go through breakups, but there is always that one break up that changes you completely. I havent dated eversince i broke up with this guy in 2003. I discovered the safety of casual sex and learnt how to detach myself from people and from mushy and touchy situations. I came up with my countless list of 'things not to do with/for men.'
Don't blame me but this guy hurt me so bad i had on record a weight of 30kgs! Considering a year later i had HIV issues to deal with, i sort of forgot he existed.
Every woman will also confess to you that we get alot of satisfaction in finding out our ex's aren't having a good day.
To wake up today and read this makes my day. seriously it does.
Pray the guy doesnt get to page 14. thats where my column is. I'd give up alcohol for a month to see his face!
Monday, October 15, 2007
CONFESSION.
I have just read my story on today's(Tuesday) Nairobi star and as usual iam teary. Okay i know this sounds weird. i write the stories, but when i read the paper, its like someone else wrote this and iam reading it just like you.
Yesterday i walked into an office full of women exchanging- wait for this- "how i lost my virginity stories". Interesting believe me. Iam talking women in the age of 35 onwards. I was so interested one because some of them are my bosses, and because sex is my favourite topic of discussion...-iam Luo;enuf said.
I wont even repeat these stories in detail; but the killer one was for this mama who had it for the first time at age 10 behind their hao with the shamba boy. She says she enjoyed it; Oh and so as not to get pregnant, they would wash their 'you know what' with salt and lemon.i dont know how much of that is really true.
This i want to try; i havent been to a cofffe plantation; iam told there are terraces of coffee and sex on them is heaven. So i will find me a man and go for an expedition in Muranga! ha.
See the thing about women is we can fit in any age group and still find the same topic okay to talk about. And to think these people talk 'Watoto wa sikuhizi...' lines. crazy.
I didnt make give my story though. I wouldnt match these people even if i tried. So Y'all get to hear my 'How i lost my virginity.' confession. I must warn you though, my own mum didnt believe this.
Okay i was 18 and verrrrrrrrrrrrry naive. I was fat and cut my hair short. My sister(she is a year younger)was the primadonna. Pretty and a favourite with the boys. No guy even saw my existance. so i would sit in my room, read romance novels and fantasize. Then Romeo comes along and picks me over my sister.She was so mad she didnt talk to me for months! Suddenly i want to look okay for Romeo.Okay isnt even the word, I want to look hot. Which i did in a couple of months.My mum couldn't believe how fast i lost weight.
Romeo& i go out for about a year but i see him in between school holidays. if i manage to sneak out of home. (i was in boarding school)
Then i maliza my form4 i have mioto's.The last day of school, I make a detour to my handsome romeo's home. My parents won't even notice if i get home a few minutes late. Its my sister they are worried about.
Romeo is excited to see me. We missed each other. I on the other hand want my fantasies comming true. We head straight for his room to make out. So we kiss and do stuff and before i know it my pants are off. Si i start the 'no to mean yes' moan. Here's the killer guys- before i could say 'take me,' Romeo was done! I mean the guy didnt even go in! I remember lying there and wondering "thats not what the books say its supposed to feel." I was 'in love'! how can it not feel right?
Then Romeo is up telling me that he is sorry, and that this only happened because iam too preety and sweet-it worked then- But now, Please! I had to run home because it was getting late and i didnt want my parents asking where i had gone to. He promises me it will be heaven next time.
There was no next time. I was pregnant and dumped by week 2!
So whats yo' story?
Yesterday i walked into an office full of women exchanging- wait for this- "how i lost my virginity stories". Interesting believe me. Iam talking women in the age of 35 onwards. I was so interested one because some of them are my bosses, and because sex is my favourite topic of discussion...-iam Luo;enuf said.
I wont even repeat these stories in detail; but the killer one was for this mama who had it for the first time at age 10 behind their hao with the shamba boy. She says she enjoyed it; Oh and so as not to get pregnant, they would wash their 'you know what' with salt and lemon.i dont know how much of that is really true.
This i want to try; i havent been to a cofffe plantation; iam told there are terraces of coffee and sex on them is heaven. So i will find me a man and go for an expedition in Muranga! ha.
See the thing about women is we can fit in any age group and still find the same topic okay to talk about. And to think these people talk 'Watoto wa sikuhizi...' lines. crazy.
I didnt make give my story though. I wouldnt match these people even if i tried. So Y'all get to hear my 'How i lost my virginity.' confession. I must warn you though, my own mum didnt believe this.
Okay i was 18 and verrrrrrrrrrrrry naive. I was fat and cut my hair short. My sister(she is a year younger)was the primadonna. Pretty and a favourite with the boys. No guy even saw my existance. so i would sit in my room, read romance novels and fantasize. Then Romeo comes along and picks me over my sister.She was so mad she didnt talk to me for months! Suddenly i want to look okay for Romeo.Okay isnt even the word, I want to look hot. Which i did in a couple of months.My mum couldn't believe how fast i lost weight.
Romeo& i go out for about a year but i see him in between school holidays. if i manage to sneak out of home. (i was in boarding school)
Then i maliza my form4 i have mioto's.The last day of school, I make a detour to my handsome romeo's home. My parents won't even notice if i get home a few minutes late. Its my sister they are worried about.
Romeo is excited to see me. We missed each other. I on the other hand want my fantasies comming true. We head straight for his room to make out. So we kiss and do stuff and before i know it my pants are off. Si i start the 'no to mean yes' moan. Here's the killer guys- before i could say 'take me,' Romeo was done! I mean the guy didnt even go in! I remember lying there and wondering "thats not what the books say its supposed to feel." I was 'in love'! how can it not feel right?
Then Romeo is up telling me that he is sorry, and that this only happened because iam too preety and sweet-it worked then- But now, Please! I had to run home because it was getting late and i didnt want my parents asking where i had gone to. He promises me it will be heaven next time.
There was no next time. I was pregnant and dumped by week 2!
So whats yo' story?
Sunday, October 7, 2007
OCTOBER 2ND
This is one day i dont really want to forget ever. Alot happened on this day. Most of it positive.
I had just come back from TZ to find a very big pile of work on my desk on Monday Morning. Iam way past the deadline on alot of stuff so i plan to have a busy day;or week.
I check my mail and... i have mail from 'Alehandro' look alike and from 'Mr. romantic german.'
The German as expected wrote a long mail pouring out his heart and feelings. Boring. Honestly i hate it when i can be able to figure out a guy in about 5min. (Barney's lemon law) Most of the time iam always right.
Alehandro sent me a very short message but it got me smiling;and cursing at my periods the whole day. You see if i didnt have them, then me and this guy would have done more than high school makeouts.
Fast forward to Tuesday 2nd. I get to work, i plan to finish my stories for our office newsletter. I get a promotion and pay rise. Awesome. i dont even get time to be happy, there is so much to do.
By evening iam tired. As we leave the office, iam faced with the hostility that comes with rising up the ladder too fast. most of the guys here arent happy with me and cant even hide it. For a moment i feel so alone.
I really cant understand why they arent happy for me. They know where i came from,they have seen me work so hard to get to where iam right now. iam almost teary.
I call fai and ask her to come over for "The Monday drink." I honestly could do with a drink but i cant take any alcohol because i have my clinic visit on Wednesday.
I get home, hakuna stima,so i go to this swahili shop to eat bajias; and wait for fai
Fai gets here and i dont even say hie, i start crying; in the middle of the road. She is shocked. I dont cry much. not these days. We go to our joint and have this very short talk about it.
Five minutes later iam as good as new. Filling her in on my Tanzanian men and all. She decides to stay over and we choma nyama for supper. I call my sis and ask her to join us there after work.
9 p.m I get a call from my friend in Kisumu. He sounds excited. He is reading my story. "What story ?" i ask surprised.
You should have heard me scream at the end of that call.
Nairobi star finally published the first page of my diary. I was so happy i couldnt eat. Honestly i didnt even sleep well.
On this day i got two things i had been slaving for patiently for five months. Its like finally seeing the light at the end of this long dark tunnel. Exciting!
So y'all reading this in Kenya, please buy tomorrows Nairobi star. If you are able to, email your comment or call them(Nairobi star). Its good for my rating.
I had just come back from TZ to find a very big pile of work on my desk on Monday Morning. Iam way past the deadline on alot of stuff so i plan to have a busy day;or week.
I check my mail and... i have mail from 'Alehandro' look alike and from 'Mr. romantic german.'
The German as expected wrote a long mail pouring out his heart and feelings. Boring. Honestly i hate it when i can be able to figure out a guy in about 5min. (Barney's lemon law) Most of the time iam always right.
Alehandro sent me a very short message but it got me smiling;and cursing at my periods the whole day. You see if i didnt have them, then me and this guy would have done more than high school makeouts.
Fast forward to Tuesday 2nd. I get to work, i plan to finish my stories for our office newsletter. I get a promotion and pay rise. Awesome. i dont even get time to be happy, there is so much to do.
By evening iam tired. As we leave the office, iam faced with the hostility that comes with rising up the ladder too fast. most of the guys here arent happy with me and cant even hide it. For a moment i feel so alone.
I really cant understand why they arent happy for me. They know where i came from,they have seen me work so hard to get to where iam right now. iam almost teary.
I call fai and ask her to come over for "The Monday drink." I honestly could do with a drink but i cant take any alcohol because i have my clinic visit on Wednesday.
I get home, hakuna stima,so i go to this swahili shop to eat bajias; and wait for fai
Fai gets here and i dont even say hie, i start crying; in the middle of the road. She is shocked. I dont cry much. not these days. We go to our joint and have this very short talk about it.
Five minutes later iam as good as new. Filling her in on my Tanzanian men and all. She decides to stay over and we choma nyama for supper. I call my sis and ask her to join us there after work.
9 p.m I get a call from my friend in Kisumu. He sounds excited. He is reading my story. "What story ?" i ask surprised.
You should have heard me scream at the end of that call.
Nairobi star finally published the first page of my diary. I was so happy i couldnt eat. Honestly i didnt even sleep well.
On this day i got two things i had been slaving for patiently for five months. Its like finally seeing the light at the end of this long dark tunnel. Exciting!
So y'all reading this in Kenya, please buy tomorrows Nairobi star. If you are able to, email your comment or call them(Nairobi star). Its good for my rating.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
MAKING A COMEBACK?
I have just completed this workshop in TZ. the friends i have made here and i are about to go see as much of this place as possible. Thought to take sometime to give updates to a certain someone.
I dont have to write a book or do a movie to get my grove back.Its been with me all along!
So i have been flirting with this cute masculine guy who is one of the facilitators at this workshop-i thought he was just some facilitator. Then there is this German facilitator who has an immense crush on me. Iam touched that he finds me attractive but iam not ready for what he wants.You know the ones who say forever after every date and expect the "halleluya chorus" after they kiss you.He took my some girls and i out for drinks and Bongo. I dont feel him though so i try to ignore him but he is all over! Suddenly iam caught up in the "gal in the middle of two guys in the same office." situation
But a girls got to do what a girl's got to do, I decided to go with the masculine 'Alehandro' look alike. I tell him iam HIV positive. he says fine. He asks me to go for a walk in the monlight. Not my kind of thing but i say yes. We take this walk and i kiss him good. I check(yes fai i checked) if "everything is adequately okay." and invite him to Nairobi.
He gives me his card and i almost fall. He is the CEO!
Going to his room now, he just called me.........and i thought i was getting old! ha!
I dont have to write a book or do a movie to get my grove back.Its been with me all along!
So i have been flirting with this cute masculine guy who is one of the facilitators at this workshop-i thought he was just some facilitator. Then there is this German facilitator who has an immense crush on me. Iam touched that he finds me attractive but iam not ready for what he wants.You know the ones who say forever after every date and expect the "halleluya chorus" after they kiss you.He took my some girls and i out for drinks and Bongo. I dont feel him though so i try to ignore him but he is all over! Suddenly iam caught up in the "gal in the middle of two guys in the same office." situation
But a girls got to do what a girl's got to do, I decided to go with the masculine 'Alehandro' look alike. I tell him iam HIV positive. he says fine. He asks me to go for a walk in the monlight. Not my kind of thing but i say yes. We take this walk and i kiss him good. I check(yes fai i checked) if "everything is adequately okay." and invite him to Nairobi.
He gives me his card and i almost fall. He is the CEO!
Going to his room now, he just called me.........and i thought i was getting old! ha!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
SEEKING MY GROOVE
I aint Stella and i aint 40 years or so yet, but i may as well be. Just realised what a hermit i have been in the past six months. I dont have boy stories to share with my Gals. I almost don't have stories to tell anymore. Well unless they are about work of course. How boring can i get!
I had a long chat with my friend yesterday and it hit me, I havent done anything fun in almost 7 months! No date,no excursion,no crazy stuff, no bootycall;nothing. I haven't talked to some of my friends for so long they dont like me anymore. Would you believe me when i say my actions wreren't intentional.My excuse? i have been busy working. I'm i growing old? I dont want to grow old,not now.
I want the vibrant gal back. I want to meet my friends more often, i want to work less, not talk about work after work. I want to have mad,passionate,slow, crazy consistent sex. And i want to do something crazy like......well i will figure that out in a bit. Oh! i just may kiss this chick who wants to make out with me. So crazy checks off.
Bottom line? i want my groove back!
I had a long chat with my friend yesterday and it hit me, I havent done anything fun in almost 7 months! No date,no excursion,no crazy stuff, no bootycall;nothing. I haven't talked to some of my friends for so long they dont like me anymore. Would you believe me when i say my actions wreren't intentional.My excuse? i have been busy working. I'm i growing old? I dont want to grow old,not now.
I want the vibrant gal back. I want to meet my friends more often, i want to work less, not talk about work after work. I want to have mad,passionate,slow, crazy consistent sex. And i want to do something crazy like......well i will figure that out in a bit. Oh! i just may kiss this chick who wants to make out with me. So crazy checks off.
Bottom line? i want my groove back!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Monday blues!
Monday is suposed to be boring and full of stress, most of the times it is. My best part of Mondays is having drinks with my friend She',my siz Debs and sometimes Faith. We get to go to this weird joint, we bring our music because its a home pub and we dont want to get Bored! The best part is the booze! The place has sminorf ice at 75/=! Oh and there is Viceroy for Faith. I wont even say how much that costs......
So yesterday was my 3rd anniversarry and i call up Faith and tell her its my birthday. After arguing with me ati coz i'm just looking for an excuse to drink we hook up at this joint! "its a celebration of life;my life" so to that we drunk till about midnight.
She' reckons, "Pombe ya Monday ni tamu." maybe she is right!
So yesterday was my 3rd anniversarry and i call up Faith and tell her its my birthday. After arguing with me ati coz i'm just looking for an excuse to drink we hook up at this joint! "its a celebration of life;my life" so to that we drunk till about midnight.
She' reckons, "Pombe ya Monday ni tamu." maybe she is right!
Sunday, September 2, 2007
I AIN'T A SAINT
Growing up I can say I had a lot in life,
Loving parents, annoying teachers, wonderful siblings, annoying neighbours,
Some thought me good, some thought me spoilt
A variety of good and painful memories are mixed up in my head,
Hell, I know I was never a saint!
At eighteen I had what others called my first biggest fall,
And brought into this world a bouncing baby boy,
After sleepless nights of deciding whether he deserved to live or not.
But now I look at my boy and see no fall,
I see a blessing,
Whoever said I was a saint?
Come college life and I was there in full,
Having my fun and enjoying my age,
I was a mother,
But I was also in my twenties,
Some things in an age you just have to do,
I can never say I regret it,
But I never said I was a saint, did I?
Finally, out in the world at last,
Responsibilities calling harder and maturity finally settling in
I look back but don't regret a thing,
All my experiences made me who I am!
And I sure didn't turn out a saint!
Less than half an hour,
That’s the time it took to rock my world,
And send it in a spin that took what looked like forever to stop
I am HIV positive,
Is this the end?
Who to break the news to?
Family first, at least the ones I trust,
And the ones that are stronger,
Friends next, and watch most disappear, leaving me in the shadows,
And I would have stayed there longer too, if it hadn't been for other friends,
And of course, Family!
Now it’s out in the open,
Not just for my family and friends,
But for the whole world to see,
Losing more friends and family this time
I am sorry if it embarrasses you,
To let others know you are associated with me,
But I have to think about me too,
Loving parents, annoying teachers, wonderful siblings, annoying neighbours,
Some thought me good, some thought me spoilt
A variety of good and painful memories are mixed up in my head,
Hell, I know I was never a saint!
At eighteen I had what others called my first biggest fall,
And brought into this world a bouncing baby boy,
After sleepless nights of deciding whether he deserved to live or not.
But now I look at my boy and see no fall,
I see a blessing,
Whoever said I was a saint?
Come college life and I was there in full,
Having my fun and enjoying my age,
I was a mother,
But I was also in my twenties,
Some things in an age you just have to do,
I can never say I regret it,
But I never said I was a saint, did I?
Finally, out in the world at last,
Responsibilities calling harder and maturity finally settling in
I look back but don't regret a thing,
All my experiences made me who I am!
And I sure didn't turn out a saint!
Less than half an hour,
That’s the time it took to rock my world,
And send it in a spin that took what looked like forever to stop
I am HIV positive,
Is this the end?
Who to break the news to?
Family first, at least the ones I trust,
And the ones that are stronger,
Friends next, and watch most disappear, leaving me in the shadows,
And I would have stayed there longer too, if it hadn't been for other friends,
And of course, Family!
Now it’s out in the open,
Not just for my family and friends,
But for the whole world to see,
Losing more friends and family this time
I am sorry if it embarrasses you,
To let others know you are associated with me,
But I have to think about me too,
Monday, August 27, 2007
cleaning my closet!
Today on page 14 of Nairobi star is a story about me. Yeah i know this wil be shocking to some of the people who know me. I feature in the Medical profile and talk about my life after 'the HIV +ve verdict' have a look at it people!
So far most of my friends(who already know about it) have called to tell me how cute my picture is! I have also had one call from a guy who took me out for coffee once. he reckons i should have told him. Maybe i should have-if i was planning to go tobed with him. which honestly i wasn't.
doing this wasnt easy, i had to call my parents(who already knew and are supportive) to let them know. My mum is excited for me. For her my being this frank means alot to her. My siblings have divided reactions, but debs my sis is like 'go girl'
My friends? now these guys are the best! I told all of these guys one by one and they all in their own special way saw me through these past days. So to Kafai,Elizabeth,mary,doris,jacky,josaya,Shiro,joyce,Esta,cecelia,dorcus,caro and all of you who have been with me through 'cleaning my not so very dirty closet' THANK YOU!
So far most of my friends(who already know about it) have called to tell me how cute my picture is! I have also had one call from a guy who took me out for coffee once. he reckons i should have told him. Maybe i should have-if i was planning to go tobed with him. which honestly i wasn't.
doing this wasnt easy, i had to call my parents(who already knew and are supportive) to let them know. My mum is excited for me. For her my being this frank means alot to her. My siblings have divided reactions, but debs my sis is like 'go girl'
My friends? now these guys are the best! I told all of these guys one by one and they all in their own special way saw me through these past days. So to Kafai,Elizabeth,mary,doris,jacky,josaya,Shiro,joyce,Esta,cecelia,dorcus,caro and all of you who have been with me through 'cleaning my not so very dirty closet' THANK YOU!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
BIRTHDAY
Today is my son's birthday. I spent most of Monday crying because i wont be there with him.( He stays with my parents.) Well by now i should probably be used to not being there most of the time seeing that i left him at week two to go to college. but i guese there are some things time doesn't heal. So i PMSed about it on Monday&most of Tuesday.
Today i feel good! i mean i may not be there to give him his presents and make his party(he asked fo a mbuzi choma bash, can you believe him?!) I know he will have fun today with his friends. That makes me happy. Oh that and the fact that unlike all my friends i have an 8year old handsome young boy! Ha! and i still have my hot figure! Talk of counting your blessings!
Today i feel good! i mean i may not be there to give him his presents and make his party(he asked fo a mbuzi choma bash, can you believe him?!) I know he will have fun today with his friends. That makes me happy. Oh that and the fact that unlike all my friends i have an 8year old handsome young boy! Ha! and i still have my hot figure! Talk of counting your blessings!
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