Tomorrow is December 1st and much as I have tried to, I realize this is one of those days I can not afford to let my opinion known to the masses *insert huge grin*
December 1st is the annual commemoration of World AIDS day. It has been 26 years since the first HIV patient was diagnosed in Kenya and as a third world country we were not spared the harsh brunt of this disease and the confusion, panic, stigma and discrimination that it descended with.
The theme for World AIDS Day 2010 is 'Universal Access and Human Rights'. Global leaders have pledged to work towards universal access to HIV and AIDS treatment, prevention and care, recognizing these as fundamental human rights. Valuable progress has been made in increasing access to HIV and AIDS services, yet greater commitment is needed around the world if the goal of universal access is to be achieved.
This year, I want to marvel at the strides we have made on an individual basis, as friends, as families, communities and as a country in getting to where we are in terms of responding to HIV&AIDS. In my own way I want to award people, groups, organizations…some known, others silent in this Endeavor to achieve a HIV free society for our children and their children.
Not in any particular order, My ‘Red Ribbon Awards’ go to;-
THE ACTIVISTS:
It’s often hard to be the first person to stand among the minorities and fight for their existence, rights and human dignity. These people got courage enough to scream “I’m here and you are going to treat me and people like me with the respect we deserve”.
It is because of these people that the world took notice, the myths got demystified and People living with HIV became human again.
From Magic Johnson the basket ball player, to Mary fisher, the American political activist…. Back at home the list is endless, From Ms. Asunta Wagura-KENWA, The Late Mr. Rowland Lenya,-TAPWAK, Ms. Dorothy Onyango,-WOFAK, Monique-MSF,Ludfine-UNDP,Mr. Joe Muiruri,The late Wangeci,….Jackline Wamboi- my personal favourite among others as well as those who silently and without talking about their own HIV status made it possible to have legislatures, policies and guidelines in place.
COMMUNITY HEALTH WORKERS:
These are men and women who because of stigma and lack of proper care of those infected with HIV in health institutions took it upon themselves to care for their own. Majorly residing in marginalized communities themselves and with very little financial support they would share what they had among themselves and offer palliative care from peoples homes. Currently they offer the best strategy for discharging patients out of the hospital back into the community thereby reducing health care costs. They are mostly people living with HIV volunteering to nurse those who are sick with one ailment or another back to health.
They cleaned wounds, bedding, exposed themselves to infections, ventured into areas some of us wouldn’t dare to. They carried sick people on their backs to hospital and ensured they adhered to ARV medications.
Watched as people that were once left for dead regained their health and got back to their feet.
These selfless men and women are the reason programs made sense in the 1990’s and early 2000 and the reason Kenya achieved its strategic goal of “A world free of AIDS”.
DONORS
A big chunk of HIV and AIDS response activities and programs are supported by donors. They work closely with the government or through partner organizations. People who have started foundations or work tirelessly to ensure donations are channeled towards HIV prevention, treatments, care and support. This list is long and I may need help writing it in completion.
From world Bank to PEPFAR (Presidential Emergency Program For AIDS and Malaria), Steven Lewis foundation, HIVOs, MSF, Amref, UNAIDS, Action Aid, CRS, Bill&Melinda gates, MTV staying Alive Campaign among others.
With funding from this organization, we are able to ensure prevention and treatment as well as care and support is available for those who need it.
FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
If you have a friend, a colleague, a sister, a brother, a wife, a husband, a cousin, a mother, a father or any relative in your family living with HIV and you treat them with the dignity they deserve, occasionally showing true concern and most of the time making them feel normal as normal can be then this Award is for you.
You may not realize this but half the time the support PLHIV get from family and friends goes along way in ensuring they seek treatment and strive to stay alive and happy.
To those who occasionally have to nurse relatives and friends and sometimes hold their hands throughout their low moments, the confusion, the fears, the pain. To those who don’t judge or make snide remarks or throw dramatic tantrums when a loved one discloses their HIV status. To all of you…My standing ovation! You make it possible for PLHIV to live normal lives.
MEDIA.
HIV response would be a fruitless activity if the media wasn’t involved. The media was very instrumental and still is in breaking the silence about HIV&AIDS. Through the stories on stigma and discrimination in the media we saw our selves through the mirror. Our humanity was touched by what being impartial to those living with this disease could mean and like it or not we have become more informed, more tolerant, more careful and able to discuss some of the things that we a few years back a taboo.
To the lateTom Arocho and his pioneer HIV awareness Program on KTN, to the KBC with their weekly program’ It begins with you’, to the various Media personalities who find time to discuss HIV&AIDS awareness issues, to Internews- an organization whose work involves training mainstream journalists on appropriate reporting on Matters HIV&AIDS, Gender and health. Thank you!
People Living with HIV (PLHIV)
It takes one HIV positive individual for a HIV infection take place. Educate the HIV positive individual on how not to infect someone and you won’t have any infections right? Well unfortunately not everyone has the time or energy for this school of thought.
So for the People Living with HIV who have made a conscious decision to live a positive life whether publicly or in silence. Seek treatment and prevention options, Take care of their health, disclose their status to those that need to know, protect in every way human the people they care about and still put a smile on their own faces and those of the people who matter to them.
To you ladies and gentlemen, a million pats in the back. I know its not easy, but with every passing year, and every passing cold season or irritating cough you know its going to be alright at the end of the day, when it is alright….life feels good.
Thank you for being an integral part of HIV prevention.
This list is inconclusive; you are welcome to add on to it. Who are you dedicating the Red Ribbon to?
But most importantly what are you as an individual doing to ensure we achieve universal access to Prevention, treatment, care and support for HIV&AIDS.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL
“Each player much accepts the cards life deals him or her. But once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.”-Voltaire
In April 2009, Nadja Benaisa a German singer with a favorite all-female pop band was arrested and formerly charged in February 2010 with causing bodily harm by German police for having unprotected sex with three men between 2004 and 2006 without informing them of her HIV positive status, allegedly infecting one of her partners with HIV.
During her trial which commenced in August 2010, Ms. Benaissa admitted not telling her sexual partners she was HIV positive, she however denied intending to infect anyone with the virus.
“I’m so sorry; no way did I want my partner to be convicted” Ms. Benaissa told the court.
On 26th August 2010, she was found guilty of one count of causing grievous bodily harm and two counts of attempted bodily harm and was given a 2-year suspended sentence and 300 hours of community service.
Ms. Benaissa’s story brings to light the ramifications that people living with HIV could face for not disclosing their HIV status. It also gives you an idea about how lack of disclosure can end up exposing and getting someone else infected with the Virus hence making ‘disclosure’ an integral aspect of HIV prevention.
Back at home part IV of the Kenya HIV and AIDS Prevention and Control Act has provisions that could see one- if proven guilty of similar crimes- convicted to a fine not exceeding five hundred thousand or imprisonment for a term not exceeding seven years or both.
The most difficult thing anyone living with HIV may ever have to do is tell anyone they have HIV. Whether you have been recently diagnosed with HIV or have been living with HIV for while, you may well feel anxious about telling people about your status.
Disclosing your HIV diagnosis is difficult but sometimes necessary. Hard as it may be, there is no manual for disclosure, perhaps because it is such a multifaceted issue. Disclosing to a friend is very different from telling parents or disclosing to your child or marriage partner. But perhaps the hardest disclosure would be telling a potential sexual partner.
Disclosure surrounding HIV&AID means telling someone you are HIV positive. Who you tell and what you tell them can be very difficult and therefore is ones personal decision. You need to be sure you are doing it for the right reasons as who you tell and how you give the information may have a far reaching impact on a loved one and ultimately on your life.
When one mulls over disclosure So many emotions come into play as one psychologically asks themselves many questions. One wonders on many things for example; when this must be done or how exactly do I say it, do I show any emotions or not, or how will they react when they find out, will they hate me or blame me? Will they leave me? Will I end up facing this alone? Will they still love me? Will they shun me? Do I really have to do this!
Before disclosing ones status, one needs to consider a number of things which I like to call the ‘5W’s of disclosure.’
Who to disclose to
Who you tell your HIV status is very important. It isn’t news to be told to every walking person in the planet. When you are first diagnosed, it is probably wise to only tell the people you trust and believe will give you the support you need for example your doctor, a counselor, a support group for PLHIV or a close family member.
At this point you don’t need to tell your employer unless for some reason you need a shift in your job description.
You have no need to disclose to your potential landlord or workmates as people may treat you differently.
Shouting “I have HIV” to everyone can have its repercussions. Not everyone is as welcoming or as tolerant to issues around HIV&AIDS and as much as stigma levels have remarkable reduced in Kenya, not everyone gets to be received with open arms to disclosure.
Why disclose:
One needs to be certain they have a reason for disclosing their status. Once the question of ‘who’ it is you are telling is answered, ask yourself why you need to tell them. Is it because you need some kind of help from whoever you are disclosing to in terms of referrals for treatment and care?, or is it because the person you are telling is your sexual partner and therefore they need to know so that the two of you explore safer sexual practices or need to have them tested as well?
In some countries, there are certain professions where someone would have to let their employers know they are HIV positive for example surgeons.
In the case of a parent considering disclosing to their children, ask yourself why you want to tell them. Is it because they will be annoyed if you keep it a secret? Or do they suspect something or are you sick, or have they asked you if you have HIV or maybe its a child who was born HIV positive and needs to know why it’s important to take their medication.
It’s recommended that one discloses their positive HIV status to a potential sexual partner because in failure to do so has legal ramifications in certain countries.
Where to disclose;
You don’t want to be disclosing your status in a noisy restaurant after three drinks with someone you are on a first date with. Similarly disclosing to a violent spouse or partner when you are alone in the house with them could be dangerous. The news that one is HIV positive is always received with shock, pain, anger or any similarly related emotion. Different venues would work for different situations. You need to know who you are telling and how where you chose to tell would work for you. Remember you need to be comfortable with your surrounding to enable you easily answer all the questions that your family, friend, child (ren) or partner may have after you disclose.
If you are disclosing to an intended sexual partner, please ensure you are in an open place. A quiet restaurant with people around you.
If it’s a violent partner then its encouraged that you seek help with disclosure. There are a number of social workers or healthcare providers who can assist you with this.
In case one is disclosing to children, do it at a place they would feel most safe as they may have a lot of follow up questions for you.
When to disclose;
At what point do you tell your partner, your friends, your parents, your children or your colleagues of your HIV status? You need to consider this as you may have to tell these different people at different times depending on the situation you are in.
The best time to disclose your status is when you are ready. You need to adjust to the news of your HIV status first. For some people that may be a week, for other people it may be a year. But only disclose your HIV status when it's appropriate, and only when you're comfortable with yourself to do so.
It’s very important to inform your sexual partner of your HIV status as soon as you find out so that they can get tested as well and that the both of you can get help on how to live a healthy life.
My advice would be that you take sometime and process the news before you begin to tell it out to others. You do not want to be crying or in an emotionally unstable form when you talk to people about your HIV status.
This will scare them and make them feel like they are losing you.
Children could pick the insecurities that come with you not being okay with your HIV status and panic and this could affect them in school both academically and socially. Take as much time as you can after disclosing to your children to reassure them of your love and your family’s stability as well as your good health.
Seek counseling for as long as you need it to be able to deal with the shock and pain of finding out your status. Then you can share it with your loved ones.
People who are dating especially women are often at loss for when they should disclose their HIV status. You may be conflicted on whether to disclose on the first date or only if the relationship is getting serious. For fear of losing their partner people often hold off on telling about their status. This may work for you for a short period of time as the relationship may progress too fast into sex and you end up not protecting your partner. The best time to disclose is when you are ready but if you aren’t then please ensure you have safer sexual relations with your partners.
Disclosing to sexual partners should be encouraged as it is rewarding. It frees you from anxiety and enables the both of you to take control of your safety and make informed choices.
What to disclose
What you say to the various people you are disclosing to is very important. Some people like to be very open about their HIV status. That way they really don’t have to worry about people finding out later. This strategy does not suit everyone so if you are in a situation where not everybody will understand then this may not be the way for you. Even for those people who are public about their status, you may want to consider how much of your story you want to share for sometimes too much information could be misconstrued to mean some thing else.
In one of ‘Parent-children’ support groups organized by one of our partners, a woman told of how she disclosed to her children.
“I have AIDS and I’m dying soon” she told her children who had confronted her after they had been told mean things by their playmate.
The emotional trauma that followed later has affected her children to date over a decade later.
You need to have enough information about HIV and AIDS and whatever issues that are connected to it to enable you give the correct information to your partner, children, friend, colleagues or whoever you are disclosing to.
How you say what it is you are disclosing is also important. You could get books that have information on HIV&AIDS to share with your loved ones, or print out information online or even get help from your counselor, a friend from the support group or health professionals if there is need to explain things further to the people you are disclosing to.
If you are ashamed of your status, then the people you are telling to will feel the same way so try to have a positive attitude towards your condition.
A long time ago when HIV progression to AIDS was much faster due to stigma, lack of awareness and treatment, there was probably some rationale for telling your friends and family as soon as one found out their HIV positive status.
Most people were diagnosed with HIV because they were sick with one condition or another and therefore family involvement for care and support was very fundamental in recovery.
Today, the medicine for HIV management is so good that one can live their normal productive lives for years.
The decision to tell your family or your parents is ultimately your own.
There is a lot to gain from telling other people about your diagnosis. You may find that the support and understanding gained from confiding in close friends really helps reduce the stress or worries that you may have.
There is a possibility of greater access to good care and management by speaking to people or organizations that are there to support people living with HIV. It’s important to let your doctor know your HIV status so that you get the appropriate care. Disclosing could also help you get help from people with the same HIV status as you for example in a support group.
You may feel the need to tell is other for your own benefit and peace of mind. That is also good.However, as you seek to disclose your HIV status, please note that not everyone will be strong enough or supportive enough in their responses. Be prepared for this and remember that you have done nothing wrong. You need to be patient. The people you love and who love you also need the space to deal with your revelation.
As hard as disclosure of ones HIV is, its encouraged that one discloses to at least one close family member to enable them access the support they need either medically or emotionally in dealing with being HIV positive.
In April 2009, Nadja Benaisa a German singer with a favorite all-female pop band was arrested and formerly charged in February 2010 with causing bodily harm by German police for having unprotected sex with three men between 2004 and 2006 without informing them of her HIV positive status, allegedly infecting one of her partners with HIV.
During her trial which commenced in August 2010, Ms. Benaissa admitted not telling her sexual partners she was HIV positive, she however denied intending to infect anyone with the virus.
“I’m so sorry; no way did I want my partner to be convicted” Ms. Benaissa told the court.
On 26th August 2010, she was found guilty of one count of causing grievous bodily harm and two counts of attempted bodily harm and was given a 2-year suspended sentence and 300 hours of community service.
Ms. Benaissa’s story brings to light the ramifications that people living with HIV could face for not disclosing their HIV status. It also gives you an idea about how lack of disclosure can end up exposing and getting someone else infected with the Virus hence making ‘disclosure’ an integral aspect of HIV prevention.
Back at home part IV of the Kenya HIV and AIDS Prevention and Control Act has provisions that could see one- if proven guilty of similar crimes- convicted to a fine not exceeding five hundred thousand or imprisonment for a term not exceeding seven years or both.
The most difficult thing anyone living with HIV may ever have to do is tell anyone they have HIV. Whether you have been recently diagnosed with HIV or have been living with HIV for while, you may well feel anxious about telling people about your status.
Disclosing your HIV diagnosis is difficult but sometimes necessary. Hard as it may be, there is no manual for disclosure, perhaps because it is such a multifaceted issue. Disclosing to a friend is very different from telling parents or disclosing to your child or marriage partner. But perhaps the hardest disclosure would be telling a potential sexual partner.
Disclosure surrounding HIV&AID means telling someone you are HIV positive. Who you tell and what you tell them can be very difficult and therefore is ones personal decision. You need to be sure you are doing it for the right reasons as who you tell and how you give the information may have a far reaching impact on a loved one and ultimately on your life.
When one mulls over disclosure So many emotions come into play as one psychologically asks themselves many questions. One wonders on many things for example; when this must be done or how exactly do I say it, do I show any emotions or not, or how will they react when they find out, will they hate me or blame me? Will they leave me? Will I end up facing this alone? Will they still love me? Will they shun me? Do I really have to do this!
Before disclosing ones status, one needs to consider a number of things which I like to call the ‘5W’s of disclosure.’
Who to disclose to
Who you tell your HIV status is very important. It isn’t news to be told to every walking person in the planet. When you are first diagnosed, it is probably wise to only tell the people you trust and believe will give you the support you need for example your doctor, a counselor, a support group for PLHIV or a close family member.
At this point you don’t need to tell your employer unless for some reason you need a shift in your job description.
You have no need to disclose to your potential landlord or workmates as people may treat you differently.
Shouting “I have HIV” to everyone can have its repercussions. Not everyone is as welcoming or as tolerant to issues around HIV&AIDS and as much as stigma levels have remarkable reduced in Kenya, not everyone gets to be received with open arms to disclosure.
Why disclose:
One needs to be certain they have a reason for disclosing their status. Once the question of ‘who’ it is you are telling is answered, ask yourself why you need to tell them. Is it because you need some kind of help from whoever you are disclosing to in terms of referrals for treatment and care?, or is it because the person you are telling is your sexual partner and therefore they need to know so that the two of you explore safer sexual practices or need to have them tested as well?
In some countries, there are certain professions where someone would have to let their employers know they are HIV positive for example surgeons.
In the case of a parent considering disclosing to their children, ask yourself why you want to tell them. Is it because they will be annoyed if you keep it a secret? Or do they suspect something or are you sick, or have they asked you if you have HIV or maybe its a child who was born HIV positive and needs to know why it’s important to take their medication.
It’s recommended that one discloses their positive HIV status to a potential sexual partner because in failure to do so has legal ramifications in certain countries.
Where to disclose;
You don’t want to be disclosing your status in a noisy restaurant after three drinks with someone you are on a first date with. Similarly disclosing to a violent spouse or partner when you are alone in the house with them could be dangerous. The news that one is HIV positive is always received with shock, pain, anger or any similarly related emotion. Different venues would work for different situations. You need to know who you are telling and how where you chose to tell would work for you. Remember you need to be comfortable with your surrounding to enable you easily answer all the questions that your family, friend, child (ren) or partner may have after you disclose.
If you are disclosing to an intended sexual partner, please ensure you are in an open place. A quiet restaurant with people around you.
If it’s a violent partner then its encouraged that you seek help with disclosure. There are a number of social workers or healthcare providers who can assist you with this.
In case one is disclosing to children, do it at a place they would feel most safe as they may have a lot of follow up questions for you.
When to disclose;
At what point do you tell your partner, your friends, your parents, your children or your colleagues of your HIV status? You need to consider this as you may have to tell these different people at different times depending on the situation you are in.
The best time to disclose your status is when you are ready. You need to adjust to the news of your HIV status first. For some people that may be a week, for other people it may be a year. But only disclose your HIV status when it's appropriate, and only when you're comfortable with yourself to do so.
It’s very important to inform your sexual partner of your HIV status as soon as you find out so that they can get tested as well and that the both of you can get help on how to live a healthy life.
My advice would be that you take sometime and process the news before you begin to tell it out to others. You do not want to be crying or in an emotionally unstable form when you talk to people about your HIV status.
This will scare them and make them feel like they are losing you.
Children could pick the insecurities that come with you not being okay with your HIV status and panic and this could affect them in school both academically and socially. Take as much time as you can after disclosing to your children to reassure them of your love and your family’s stability as well as your good health.
Seek counseling for as long as you need it to be able to deal with the shock and pain of finding out your status. Then you can share it with your loved ones.
People who are dating especially women are often at loss for when they should disclose their HIV status. You may be conflicted on whether to disclose on the first date or only if the relationship is getting serious. For fear of losing their partner people often hold off on telling about their status. This may work for you for a short period of time as the relationship may progress too fast into sex and you end up not protecting your partner. The best time to disclose is when you are ready but if you aren’t then please ensure you have safer sexual relations with your partners.
Disclosing to sexual partners should be encouraged as it is rewarding. It frees you from anxiety and enables the both of you to take control of your safety and make informed choices.
What to disclose
What you say to the various people you are disclosing to is very important. Some people like to be very open about their HIV status. That way they really don’t have to worry about people finding out later. This strategy does not suit everyone so if you are in a situation where not everybody will understand then this may not be the way for you. Even for those people who are public about their status, you may want to consider how much of your story you want to share for sometimes too much information could be misconstrued to mean some thing else.
In one of ‘Parent-children’ support groups organized by one of our partners, a woman told of how she disclosed to her children.
“I have AIDS and I’m dying soon” she told her children who had confronted her after they had been told mean things by their playmate.
The emotional trauma that followed later has affected her children to date over a decade later.
You need to have enough information about HIV and AIDS and whatever issues that are connected to it to enable you give the correct information to your partner, children, friend, colleagues or whoever you are disclosing to.
How you say what it is you are disclosing is also important. You could get books that have information on HIV&AIDS to share with your loved ones, or print out information online or even get help from your counselor, a friend from the support group or health professionals if there is need to explain things further to the people you are disclosing to.
If you are ashamed of your status, then the people you are telling to will feel the same way so try to have a positive attitude towards your condition.
A long time ago when HIV progression to AIDS was much faster due to stigma, lack of awareness and treatment, there was probably some rationale for telling your friends and family as soon as one found out their HIV positive status.
Most people were diagnosed with HIV because they were sick with one condition or another and therefore family involvement for care and support was very fundamental in recovery.
Today, the medicine for HIV management is so good that one can live their normal productive lives for years.
The decision to tell your family or your parents is ultimately your own.
There is a lot to gain from telling other people about your diagnosis. You may find that the support and understanding gained from confiding in close friends really helps reduce the stress or worries that you may have.
There is a possibility of greater access to good care and management by speaking to people or organizations that are there to support people living with HIV. It’s important to let your doctor know your HIV status so that you get the appropriate care. Disclosing could also help you get help from people with the same HIV status as you for example in a support group.
You may feel the need to tell is other for your own benefit and peace of mind. That is also good.However, as you seek to disclose your HIV status, please note that not everyone will be strong enough or supportive enough in their responses. Be prepared for this and remember that you have done nothing wrong. You need to be patient. The people you love and who love you also need the space to deal with your revelation.
As hard as disclosure of ones HIV is, its encouraged that one discloses to at least one close family member to enable them access the support they need either medically or emotionally in dealing with being HIV positive.
Monday, July 12, 2010
WHEN OPPOSITES ATTRACT……
Doreen is a happily married mother of two. She gushes through life full of energy and juggles work, school, motherhood and wife roles just perfectly. She is also a counselor at her church.
What most people don’t know about Doreen however is she is HIV positive. In a country where about 1.4million Kenyans are living with HIV, this could be the story of many other women Doreen’s age.
What’s unique about Doreen’s story however is the fact that her husband of over ten years is HIV negative.
“I found out about my HIV status three years into my marriage.” Doreen narrates.
“I was devastated, back then people were not as informed as they are now.” She continues.
On breaking the news to her husband, he was supportive in all aspects and their lives moved on. Her husband refused to go for the test believing that if his wife was HIV positive then he was too.
“So for the next 6 years we have been living as though we are both HIV positive. We used Condoms and looked out for each other” Doreen explains.
Last year Doreen’s husband got tested for HIV after yielding to constant nagging from her and their Doctor.
“He tested HIV negative” Doreen reports with a beaming smile.
This new occurrence left this couple with a lot of more questions than they thought possible. Well, with the help of their doctor and a counselor Doreen and her husband are happy and going about their life. Nothing much about their lives has changed,
“In-fact we have never been more optimistic. We want to try for another baby.” She shares.
Doreen is not the only person in this kind of relationship. Jane, Lucy and George are both young people aged between 28 and 36 and are HIV positive. There is nothing any different about their lives. They are all well educated, have good jobs and live a good life. What they have in common is the fact that they are all dating HIV negative partners.
Jane has been dating her partner for the last two years, Lucy has been married to hers for a year and George is getting married to his partner with whom he has two beautiful baby girls in August.
There is an increasing trend among young people to go for counseling and testing and this is leading to a lot of couples finding out that the person they just started dating or are intending to marry are HIV positive. While some dating relationships may not survive the revelation that one person has HIV, there are those that withstand the confusion and emotions surrounding the discovery of HIV discordance. Then there are couples who like Doreen find out their HIV status after years of marriage and chose to stay together with their partners.
According to the recent Kenya Aids Indicator Survey released in 2009, nearly 350,000 cohabiting or married partners were ‘discordant couples’. Meaning one of the partners is HIV positive and the other negative.
Having a discordant relationship comes with its own set of challenges. For most discordant couples there is always the worry and questions around , how to have HIV free biological children, preventing HIV transmission to the HIV-negative partner; the future health and survival of the HIV-positive partner; and future investments to take Care of the surviving partner and/or children.
Contrary to what people think, discordant couples can have a long term and mutually satisfying relationships. Just as it is key in every dating or marriage relationship, the key ingredient to a happy fulfilling relationship as discordant couples will be open communication. Couples living in a HIV discordant relationship can make the most of their time together and lead a healthy loving and fulfilling relationship if they are were informed about HIV&AIDS and the various aspects that it could affect their lives. Here are some of the common questions asked and helpful answers to them. Remember, the best person to have a complete talk with about any of these issues is your doctor or counselor.
Is it safe to live together?
Living with an HIV positive partner is just as safe as living with an HIV negative partner. Both of you need to know as much about HIV&AIDS as you can to be able to cope. Dealing with a positive diagnosis and coming to terms with the challenge of living with HIV/AIDS is never easy. But today the prospects for successful treatment are better than ever before, and there are a wide range of support services available to help people living with HIV/AIDS in Kenya lead a normal productive life.
Learning about your HIV diagnosis or your partners can feel overwhelming. The battle of emotions always range from feelings of fear, anger, confused, despair among others. This is normal. It’s like joining a new school. No one really knows what is expected of them. Often times one feels lost; it’s okay to ask for help.
Mrs. Owino my class one teacher took me through the basics of life. She taught me my first real math and made science exciting.
“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” She would say as she taught us to brush our teeth after every meal and wash our hands after we visited the toilet. She had a graphic demonstration of what would happen to us if we didn’t do as she said. Using pictures from some book she would tell us how our dirty hands would carry germs to the food that we eat and then we would have diarrhea and look thin and ugly and before long all our family members would be sick too. Those pictures made you tow the line.
Two decades later, I brush my teeth and wash my hands just as Mrs Owino instructed. I bet the curriculum then put all these demonstrations to help us understand well why we needed to be clean and healthy. I wonder if Mrs Owino would be talked into doing a demonstration to the same people she taught ages ago to show us how HIV “really does get in” to our bodies. But while these simple messages have their place, the truth is of course more complex. If we take the time to understand how HIV is – and isn’t – transmitted, we are that much better armed to live with and protect our partners.
HIV is found in many of the body fluids of people who are infected with the virus. It can be found at varying concentrations in blood, semen, vaginal fluid, breast milk, saliva, and tears. It cannot be found in sweat or urine.
A simple explanation would be to say that the virus can be transmitted if any of those infected body fluids pass from an infected person to an uninfected person. This risk varies with circumstances such as the stage of HIV progression and viral load of the person living with HIV among others.
To start with, there have been no cases recorded of HIV transmission from saliva or tears, so they can safely be crossed off the list. This is to be expected, as the quantities of virus which have been observed in these fluids are extremely low. This is good news for those of us with HIV because it means there’s absolutely zero risk of passing on the virus through casual contact including kissing, hugging, or sharing eating utensils.
That leaves blood, semen, vaginal fluid and breast milk as the remaining body fluids which have been significantly implicated in transmission of HIV. We know from both laboratory experiments and real-world observation that virtually all HIV transmissions can be attributed to one of these four.
It is important that the discordant couple also be aware of non-sexual transmission of HIV, and reduces risk accordingly. For example, the couple needs advise on how to clean products that may have infected fluids, how to deal with blood spills, not to share tooth brushes, razors etc. It can be particularly challenging in a family setting especially with children around but can certainly be done.
What treatment options do we have?
There are various treatment options for People Living with HIV (PLHIV). We don’t have a cure yet but there are a variety of medications that one can take to be able to live well. The Doctor will advise after carrying out a number of tests on whether one needs to start their Anti Retroviral (ARV) medication. Couples need to talk about these medications and their implications on their relationship. For instance there are certain ARV’s that are not recommended for women who want to have babies or for pregnant women. For those who aren’t on ARV’s then a prophylaxis to help the body fight diseases may be prescribed as well as immune boosters where necessary. The Partner living with HIV will need support from the HIV negative one to adhere to medications.
In the occurrence of any exposure to the Virus, for example through a condom burst during sex or cuts and injuries in the house, the HIV negative partner can access Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP).
PEP is short-term antiretroviral treatment to reduce the likelihood of HIV infection after potential exposure.
Can we have biological children?
Babies are a blessing and every couple wants to have babies of their own by every means possible. HIV discordant couples are advised to use condoms every time they get intimate and are therefore at loss at how they will be able to have biological children. Having a biological child is possible and if done with the help of doctors then measures will be taken to ensure that the baby is born HIV free. It’s advised that couples seek preconception counseling for HIV discordant couples; information on pregnancy planning, preventing transmission of HIV to the partner and the baby, and nutritional and lifestyle advice will be shared. It is advised that couples attend these sessions together.
How do we have a normal and happy marriage?
Open communication is encouraged in all forms of relationships and marriage. In HIV discordant relationships it is encouraged to talk about everything.
Disclosure of HIV status by the partner who is HIV +ve to the HIV-ve partner is encouraged as this is key in the couple making informed choices about being safe and protecting themselves. For people who are not in an established relationship or are doing the dating scene, disclosing their HIV status to another person is often difficult and requires quite a bit of courage.
Emotions that emerge from the discovery of ones HIV status and a couple’s discordance are many and varied. Couples should strive to share a lot during this process. Talk about your feelings for each other, for your relationship, for the way forward. Discuss your fears and try together to find possible solutions for them. Do not be afraid to get help if you need it. We have a number of Couple Counseling Centers within the Voluntary Counseling and Testing centers.
Discuss all of your concerns upfront before deciding the next course of your relationship or marriage. Let the HIV negative partner reassure the one who is HIV positive that you are seeking to be educated and are not trying to pass judgment. Issues that worry discordant couples on sexuality and reproduction as well as planning for the future need to be openly discussed as frequently as both partners want.
Ask candid questions and make sure you are completely at ease before either of you makes any decision. Reaffirm your feelings for each other if they still exist. This is important especially for the HIV positive partner who may be apprehensive or scared that their disclosure will make their negative partner desert them.
Reach out for help whenever you need it. Your doctor can refer you to places where you can get more counseling and whatever other help you may need as couples.
People say, “love knows know boundaries, distance or time.”
I wonder how true that is when HIV&AIDS becomes something two people in a relationship have to deal with. But if the statistics on the number of discordant couples in Kenya is anything to go by, maybe opposites do attract.
Every time I meet Doreen and any other HIV positive person happily married or dating HIV negative people, I am reminded of Iannis’ description of love off the movie Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, and it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
What most people don’t know about Doreen however is she is HIV positive. In a country where about 1.4million Kenyans are living with HIV, this could be the story of many other women Doreen’s age.
What’s unique about Doreen’s story however is the fact that her husband of over ten years is HIV negative.
“I found out about my HIV status three years into my marriage.” Doreen narrates.
“I was devastated, back then people were not as informed as they are now.” She continues.
On breaking the news to her husband, he was supportive in all aspects and their lives moved on. Her husband refused to go for the test believing that if his wife was HIV positive then he was too.
“So for the next 6 years we have been living as though we are both HIV positive. We used Condoms and looked out for each other” Doreen explains.
Last year Doreen’s husband got tested for HIV after yielding to constant nagging from her and their Doctor.
“He tested HIV negative” Doreen reports with a beaming smile.
This new occurrence left this couple with a lot of more questions than they thought possible. Well, with the help of their doctor and a counselor Doreen and her husband are happy and going about their life. Nothing much about their lives has changed,
“In-fact we have never been more optimistic. We want to try for another baby.” She shares.
Doreen is not the only person in this kind of relationship. Jane, Lucy and George are both young people aged between 28 and 36 and are HIV positive. There is nothing any different about their lives. They are all well educated, have good jobs and live a good life. What they have in common is the fact that they are all dating HIV negative partners.
Jane has been dating her partner for the last two years, Lucy has been married to hers for a year and George is getting married to his partner with whom he has two beautiful baby girls in August.
There is an increasing trend among young people to go for counseling and testing and this is leading to a lot of couples finding out that the person they just started dating or are intending to marry are HIV positive. While some dating relationships may not survive the revelation that one person has HIV, there are those that withstand the confusion and emotions surrounding the discovery of HIV discordance. Then there are couples who like Doreen find out their HIV status after years of marriage and chose to stay together with their partners.
According to the recent Kenya Aids Indicator Survey released in 2009, nearly 350,000 cohabiting or married partners were ‘discordant couples’. Meaning one of the partners is HIV positive and the other negative.
Having a discordant relationship comes with its own set of challenges. For most discordant couples there is always the worry and questions around , how to have HIV free biological children, preventing HIV transmission to the HIV-negative partner; the future health and survival of the HIV-positive partner; and future investments to take Care of the surviving partner and/or children.
Contrary to what people think, discordant couples can have a long term and mutually satisfying relationships. Just as it is key in every dating or marriage relationship, the key ingredient to a happy fulfilling relationship as discordant couples will be open communication. Couples living in a HIV discordant relationship can make the most of their time together and lead a healthy loving and fulfilling relationship if they are were informed about HIV&AIDS and the various aspects that it could affect their lives. Here are some of the common questions asked and helpful answers to them. Remember, the best person to have a complete talk with about any of these issues is your doctor or counselor.
Is it safe to live together?
Living with an HIV positive partner is just as safe as living with an HIV negative partner. Both of you need to know as much about HIV&AIDS as you can to be able to cope. Dealing with a positive diagnosis and coming to terms with the challenge of living with HIV/AIDS is never easy. But today the prospects for successful treatment are better than ever before, and there are a wide range of support services available to help people living with HIV/AIDS in Kenya lead a normal productive life.
Learning about your HIV diagnosis or your partners can feel overwhelming. The battle of emotions always range from feelings of fear, anger, confused, despair among others. This is normal. It’s like joining a new school. No one really knows what is expected of them. Often times one feels lost; it’s okay to ask for help.
Mrs. Owino my class one teacher took me through the basics of life. She taught me my first real math and made science exciting.
“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” She would say as she taught us to brush our teeth after every meal and wash our hands after we visited the toilet. She had a graphic demonstration of what would happen to us if we didn’t do as she said. Using pictures from some book she would tell us how our dirty hands would carry germs to the food that we eat and then we would have diarrhea and look thin and ugly and before long all our family members would be sick too. Those pictures made you tow the line.
Two decades later, I brush my teeth and wash my hands just as Mrs Owino instructed. I bet the curriculum then put all these demonstrations to help us understand well why we needed to be clean and healthy. I wonder if Mrs Owino would be talked into doing a demonstration to the same people she taught ages ago to show us how HIV “really does get in” to our bodies. But while these simple messages have their place, the truth is of course more complex. If we take the time to understand how HIV is – and isn’t – transmitted, we are that much better armed to live with and protect our partners.
HIV is found in many of the body fluids of people who are infected with the virus. It can be found at varying concentrations in blood, semen, vaginal fluid, breast milk, saliva, and tears. It cannot be found in sweat or urine.
A simple explanation would be to say that the virus can be transmitted if any of those infected body fluids pass from an infected person to an uninfected person. This risk varies with circumstances such as the stage of HIV progression and viral load of the person living with HIV among others.
To start with, there have been no cases recorded of HIV transmission from saliva or tears, so they can safely be crossed off the list. This is to be expected, as the quantities of virus which have been observed in these fluids are extremely low. This is good news for those of us with HIV because it means there’s absolutely zero risk of passing on the virus through casual contact including kissing, hugging, or sharing eating utensils.
That leaves blood, semen, vaginal fluid and breast milk as the remaining body fluids which have been significantly implicated in transmission of HIV. We know from both laboratory experiments and real-world observation that virtually all HIV transmissions can be attributed to one of these four.
It is important that the discordant couple also be aware of non-sexual transmission of HIV, and reduces risk accordingly. For example, the couple needs advise on how to clean products that may have infected fluids, how to deal with blood spills, not to share tooth brushes, razors etc. It can be particularly challenging in a family setting especially with children around but can certainly be done.
What treatment options do we have?
There are various treatment options for People Living with HIV (PLHIV). We don’t have a cure yet but there are a variety of medications that one can take to be able to live well. The Doctor will advise after carrying out a number of tests on whether one needs to start their Anti Retroviral (ARV) medication. Couples need to talk about these medications and their implications on their relationship. For instance there are certain ARV’s that are not recommended for women who want to have babies or for pregnant women. For those who aren’t on ARV’s then a prophylaxis to help the body fight diseases may be prescribed as well as immune boosters where necessary. The Partner living with HIV will need support from the HIV negative one to adhere to medications.
In the occurrence of any exposure to the Virus, for example through a condom burst during sex or cuts and injuries in the house, the HIV negative partner can access Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP).
PEP is short-term antiretroviral treatment to reduce the likelihood of HIV infection after potential exposure.
Can we have biological children?
Babies are a blessing and every couple wants to have babies of their own by every means possible. HIV discordant couples are advised to use condoms every time they get intimate and are therefore at loss at how they will be able to have biological children. Having a biological child is possible and if done with the help of doctors then measures will be taken to ensure that the baby is born HIV free. It’s advised that couples seek preconception counseling for HIV discordant couples; information on pregnancy planning, preventing transmission of HIV to the partner and the baby, and nutritional and lifestyle advice will be shared. It is advised that couples attend these sessions together.
How do we have a normal and happy marriage?
Open communication is encouraged in all forms of relationships and marriage. In HIV discordant relationships it is encouraged to talk about everything.
Disclosure of HIV status by the partner who is HIV +ve to the HIV-ve partner is encouraged as this is key in the couple making informed choices about being safe and protecting themselves. For people who are not in an established relationship or are doing the dating scene, disclosing their HIV status to another person is often difficult and requires quite a bit of courage.
Emotions that emerge from the discovery of ones HIV status and a couple’s discordance are many and varied. Couples should strive to share a lot during this process. Talk about your feelings for each other, for your relationship, for the way forward. Discuss your fears and try together to find possible solutions for them. Do not be afraid to get help if you need it. We have a number of Couple Counseling Centers within the Voluntary Counseling and Testing centers.
Discuss all of your concerns upfront before deciding the next course of your relationship or marriage. Let the HIV negative partner reassure the one who is HIV positive that you are seeking to be educated and are not trying to pass judgment. Issues that worry discordant couples on sexuality and reproduction as well as planning for the future need to be openly discussed as frequently as both partners want.
Ask candid questions and make sure you are completely at ease before either of you makes any decision. Reaffirm your feelings for each other if they still exist. This is important especially for the HIV positive partner who may be apprehensive or scared that their disclosure will make their negative partner desert them.
Reach out for help whenever you need it. Your doctor can refer you to places where you can get more counseling and whatever other help you may need as couples.
People say, “love knows know boundaries, distance or time.”
I wonder how true that is when HIV&AIDS becomes something two people in a relationship have to deal with. But if the statistics on the number of discordant couples in Kenya is anything to go by, maybe opposites do attract.
Every time I meet Doreen and any other HIV positive person happily married or dating HIV negative people, I am reminded of Iannis’ description of love off the movie Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, and it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
FOR KNOWLEDGE'S SAKE!
Dealing with a positive diagnosis and coming to terms with the challenge of living with HIV/AIDS is never easy. But today the prospects for successful treatment are better than ever before, and there are a wide range of support services available to help people living with HIV/AIDS in Kenya.
Learning about your HIV diagnosis can feel overwhelming. The battle of emotions always range from feelings of fear, anger, confused, despair among others. This is normal. Often times one feels lost. It’s like joining a new school. No one really knows what is expected of them.
Mrs. Owino my class one teacher took me through the basics of life. She taught me my first real math and made science exciting.
“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” She would say as she taught us to brush our teeth after every meal and wash our hands after we visited the toilet. She had a graphic demonstration of what would happen to us if we didn’t do as she said. Using pictures from some book she would tell us how our dirty hands would carry germs to the food that we eat and then we would have diarrhea and look thin and ugly and before long all our family members would be sick too. Those pictures made you tow the line.
Two decades later, I brush my teeth and wash my hands just as Mrs Owino instructed.
I bet the curriculum then put all these demonstrations to help us understand well why we needed to be clean and healthy. I wonder if Mrs Owino would be talked into doing a demonstration to the same people she taught ages ago to show us how HIV “really does get in” to our bodies. But while these simple messages have their place, the truth is of course more complex. If we take the time to understand how HIV is – and isn’t – transmitted, we are that much better armed to protect our selves and the people we care about.
HIV is found in many of the body fluids of people who are infected with the virus. It can be found at varying concentrations in blood, semen, vaginal fluid, breast milk, saliva, and tears. It cannot be found in sweat or urine.
A simple explanation would be to say that the virus can be transmitted if any of those infected body fluids pass from an infected person to an uninfected person. This risk varies with circumstances.
To start with, there have been no cases recorded of HIV transmission from saliva or tears, so they can safely be crossed off the list. This is to be expected, as the quantities of virus which have been observed in these fluids are extremely low. This is good news for those of us with HIV because it means there’s absolutely zero risk of passing on the virus through casual contact including kissing, hugging, or sharing eating utensils.
That leaves blood, semen, vaginal fluid and breast milk as the remaining body fluids which have been significantly implicated in transmission of HIV. We know from both laboratory experiments and real-world observation that virtually all HIV transmissions can be attributed to one of these four.
Blood-to-blood
HIV can be transmitted by direct blood-to-blood contact – such as through sharing injecting equipment, through blood transfusions or other blood products, or in accidental cases in health-care settings such as hospitals. Nowadays relatively few cases of HIV transmission occur this way. Extensive needle and syringe programs, screening of donated blood and careful adherence to universal precautions in health-care settings have kept the numbers low.
•Never share any injecting equipment, including needles, syringes, spoons and swabs. This will not only prevent transmission of HIV, but also other blood-borne viruses such as hepatitis C.
•Avoid sharing toothbrushes, razors or anything else which could convey blood between two people.
•There’s very little risk of transmission from blood spills, bleeding noses, accidental cuts or open sores, as the blood from the HIV-positive person has to pass into the bloodstream of the negative person. Nonetheless, it’s sensible for anyone who comes in contact with blood to wear latex gloves and wash their hands carefully to avoid any risk of infection.
.In-case of any accidental contact with contaminated blood or in cases where one suspects they have been exposed, there is need to visit a health center for medical intervention such as Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP). Accessing this service within 72 hours of exposure could lower the risk of infection to HIV.
Mother-to-child
HIV can be transmitted from mother to baby, both in the womb and via breast milk. This is called ‘mother-to-child’ transmission.
If nothing is done to prevent transmission, the risk of passing HIV from mother to baby is about 40 percent. But we have known for some time that this risk can be reduced. If you’re pregnant or planning to become pregnant, following the recommended guidelines ensures the risk of transmitting HIV to your baby is minimized. All government hospitals in Kenya provide Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission (PMTCT) with an aim of enabling the HIV positive pregnant women access help.
The risk of transmission can also be cut by reducing the delivery time for the baby, usually by having a cesarean section. If you chose to breastfeed the baby then so so exclusively. HIV can be transmitted via breast milk. one can chose to use other alternative methods of feeding for example formula milk.
Sex
The vast majority of HIV transmissions in Kenya happen through sexual contact. HIV is present in semen, pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum) and vaginal fluid, and can enter the bloodstream of a negative partner through mucous membranes such as those in the rectum and vagina, or through small breaks in the skin caused by intercourse.
We’ve known for a long time that condoms can prevent transmission of HIV via vaginal or anal sex. They’re highly effective, cheap, easy to use and available just about everywhere.
Abstinence which is the only 100 percent preventive measure against HIV is encouraged all the time. Condoms however are the most effective HIV prevention technology there is if one is sexually active.
As an added bonus, using a condom also protects both partners from many sexually-transmitted infections other than HIV. People with HIV should know that these infections can play havoc with their health, so even if both partners are positive, condoms still have a valuable role.
If both partners are HIV-positive, there is no risk of HIV infection, although there is a risk of re-infection – infection with a second, slightly different strain of HIV. This leads to one having more strains of the virus and hence vulnerable to complications. Care should be taken by all HIV positive people to ensure they don’t get re-infected.
Finding a partner who is also HIV-positive may sound desirable but isn’t always easy, and requires that both you and your partner disclose your HIV status – something that may be difficult or uncomfortable. If you’d rather not disclose your status, it’s best to stick to safe or safer sex.
Learning about your HIV diagnosis can feel overwhelming. The battle of emotions always range from feelings of fear, anger, confused, despair among others. This is normal. Often times one feels lost. It’s like joining a new school. No one really knows what is expected of them.
Mrs. Owino my class one teacher took me through the basics of life. She taught me my first real math and made science exciting.
“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” She would say as she taught us to brush our teeth after every meal and wash our hands after we visited the toilet. She had a graphic demonstration of what would happen to us if we didn’t do as she said. Using pictures from some book she would tell us how our dirty hands would carry germs to the food that we eat and then we would have diarrhea and look thin and ugly and before long all our family members would be sick too. Those pictures made you tow the line.
Two decades later, I brush my teeth and wash my hands just as Mrs Owino instructed.
I bet the curriculum then put all these demonstrations to help us understand well why we needed to be clean and healthy. I wonder if Mrs Owino would be talked into doing a demonstration to the same people she taught ages ago to show us how HIV “really does get in” to our bodies. But while these simple messages have their place, the truth is of course more complex. If we take the time to understand how HIV is – and isn’t – transmitted, we are that much better armed to protect our selves and the people we care about.
HIV is found in many of the body fluids of people who are infected with the virus. It can be found at varying concentrations in blood, semen, vaginal fluid, breast milk, saliva, and tears. It cannot be found in sweat or urine.
A simple explanation would be to say that the virus can be transmitted if any of those infected body fluids pass from an infected person to an uninfected person. This risk varies with circumstances.
To start with, there have been no cases recorded of HIV transmission from saliva or tears, so they can safely be crossed off the list. This is to be expected, as the quantities of virus which have been observed in these fluids are extremely low. This is good news for those of us with HIV because it means there’s absolutely zero risk of passing on the virus through casual contact including kissing, hugging, or sharing eating utensils.
That leaves blood, semen, vaginal fluid and breast milk as the remaining body fluids which have been significantly implicated in transmission of HIV. We know from both laboratory experiments and real-world observation that virtually all HIV transmissions can be attributed to one of these four.
Blood-to-blood
HIV can be transmitted by direct blood-to-blood contact – such as through sharing injecting equipment, through blood transfusions or other blood products, or in accidental cases in health-care settings such as hospitals. Nowadays relatively few cases of HIV transmission occur this way. Extensive needle and syringe programs, screening of donated blood and careful adherence to universal precautions in health-care settings have kept the numbers low.
•Never share any injecting equipment, including needles, syringes, spoons and swabs. This will not only prevent transmission of HIV, but also other blood-borne viruses such as hepatitis C.
•Avoid sharing toothbrushes, razors or anything else which could convey blood between two people.
•There’s very little risk of transmission from blood spills, bleeding noses, accidental cuts or open sores, as the blood from the HIV-positive person has to pass into the bloodstream of the negative person. Nonetheless, it’s sensible for anyone who comes in contact with blood to wear latex gloves and wash their hands carefully to avoid any risk of infection.
.In-case of any accidental contact with contaminated blood or in cases where one suspects they have been exposed, there is need to visit a health center for medical intervention such as Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP). Accessing this service within 72 hours of exposure could lower the risk of infection to HIV.
Mother-to-child
HIV can be transmitted from mother to baby, both in the womb and via breast milk. This is called ‘mother-to-child’ transmission.
If nothing is done to prevent transmission, the risk of passing HIV from mother to baby is about 40 percent. But we have known for some time that this risk can be reduced. If you’re pregnant or planning to become pregnant, following the recommended guidelines ensures the risk of transmitting HIV to your baby is minimized. All government hospitals in Kenya provide Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission (PMTCT) with an aim of enabling the HIV positive pregnant women access help.
The risk of transmission can also be cut by reducing the delivery time for the baby, usually by having a cesarean section. If you chose to breastfeed the baby then so so exclusively. HIV can be transmitted via breast milk. one can chose to use other alternative methods of feeding for example formula milk.
Sex
The vast majority of HIV transmissions in Kenya happen through sexual contact. HIV is present in semen, pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum) and vaginal fluid, and can enter the bloodstream of a negative partner through mucous membranes such as those in the rectum and vagina, or through small breaks in the skin caused by intercourse.
We’ve known for a long time that condoms can prevent transmission of HIV via vaginal or anal sex. They’re highly effective, cheap, easy to use and available just about everywhere.
Abstinence which is the only 100 percent preventive measure against HIV is encouraged all the time. Condoms however are the most effective HIV prevention technology there is if one is sexually active.
As an added bonus, using a condom also protects both partners from many sexually-transmitted infections other than HIV. People with HIV should know that these infections can play havoc with their health, so even if both partners are positive, condoms still have a valuable role.
If both partners are HIV-positive, there is no risk of HIV infection, although there is a risk of re-infection – infection with a second, slightly different strain of HIV. This leads to one having more strains of the virus and hence vulnerable to complications. Care should be taken by all HIV positive people to ensure they don’t get re-infected.
Finding a partner who is also HIV-positive may sound desirable but isn’t always easy, and requires that both you and your partner disclose your HIV status – something that may be difficult or uncomfortable. If you’d rather not disclose your status, it’s best to stick to safe or safer sex.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
KEEPING THE CANDLELIGHT BURNING
“There is a candle in every soul, Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit who brings a fire, Ignites a candle and makes His home” Chris Rice from his song GO LIGHT YOUR WORLD.
The International AIDS Candlelight Memorial, a program of the Global Health Council, is one of the oldest and largest grassroots mobilization campaigns for HIV/AIDS awareness in the world. This year’s Memorial will be marked on 16th May 2010.
Started in 1983 and marked every third Sunday in May, this day hosts Worldwide local memorials that honor those that we have lost due to Complications of AIDS and raise social consciousness about the disease. As well as to honour the memories of those who have fought so hard for the rights and well being of people affected by HIV,
This year’s theme for the Memorial is “Many Lights for Human Rights,” which the Global Health Council hopes will circulate globally to promote greater understanding about the legal barriers marginalized communities can face in obtaining access to antiretroviral treatment and care, HIV prevention services and basic health care, including for HIV-related diseases like tuberculosis and malaria. Organizations are working together to demand dignity and human rights for communities affected by HIV.
We in Kenya have made great strides in our response towards HIV&AIDS. There is marked reduction of stigma in some areas, we have sections of the HIV&AIDS Act of 2007 operational, we have lots of programs that deal with the social issues this disease brought to our country et al.
We are not there yet, this day serves to remind us; all of us that there is still so much we can do to try and achieve a world free of HIV.
This Candle light memorial I want to remember my friends through whom I have learn a lot of lessons, shared life stories with and who for some reason didn’t make it to be alive today.
2009 will forever be marked in my heart, for both good and bad reasons. Mainly though because it’s the first time I lost people close to me to this disease.
Shiro -January.
The year started glum, at a young age of 25, this girl who had so much going on for her passed away leaving her husband of three months and a two month old baby. She had just graduated as a lawyer, been accepted to the Bar and gotten married to a great guy and brought forth a beautiful baby boy. Her leaving us reminds me everyday that this disease affects all generations, and there is so much we can lose. I also learned that love has no boundaries. If we truly love and are loved then we will forever remain etched in the hearts of the people dear to us. RIP Shiro.
Anne Janet-February
I took Anne in when she came to Nairobi October of 2008 and had no place to stay because her sister wasn’t comfortable staying with her. Even then, her health was wanting, but she had so much energy. She was a nurse by profession and so good at her job. She left us too fast; it was more shocking than it was painful. She had a good man beside her so it didn’t matter that her family wasn’t so supportive. From her I learn that God sends people to your life for a reason, and sometimes friends turn out to have your back more than you can imagine. I miss talking to you about boys my friend. RIP Janet.
Stella-June
We met four times I think. You had one hell of a beautiful smile. Well, I guess it hid a lot from us; your smile that is. We for instance never knew why you decided it was too much for you to take. The turmoil of living with HIV is crazy. The gals were all shocked when they heard you left us. Then got scared when they found out exactly how you left us. Maybe we did learn something out of that though. That a problem once shared is a problem half solved because now? People share a lot. And reach out more.
Shiko- August
Now Shiko was one burst of energy! She worked in the kitchen and made us tea and lunch. I found out nearly a year or so later when doing her story for a magazine that Shiko couldn’t swallow anything that wasn’t liquid. She had gotten sick once with oral thrush and didn’t properly manage it so wasn’t able to stop the infection from getting to her oesophagus. She survived on porridge and light juice and soup. Crashed her ARV’s and dissolved them in water. She instantly became my hero. I mean here was a woman who made 'kick ass' lunch everyday knowing fully well she would have to just sit back and watch us eat. Shiko I miss your Kikuyu pilau! RIP dear.
Wangeci- September
Another young girl who had a lot going on. I met you in town a couple of months before you left us and you looked fine. Your death was a huge shock and then some. Sent all of us into a serious panic. Gave me the hugest punch of emotions since 2004. First I was sad, then I was scared, then I was angry at you for refusing to take your 'meds', then I was scared that I was angry and now? I am just sad. Every time I meet someone that looks like you I feel sad for the loss. You and I worked on a number of projects together, you may be gone my dear but the vision you had keeps on. No one I know is ignoring the doctor’s advice now. R.I.P sweets.
Caroline- November
Hardly a week passes without me thinking about you. Every time I do, tears fill my eyes. I am not sad that you are gone anymore. I believe you are in a better place; Peaceful place. I just miss my friend sooo much.
I shared a lot with you, learned bagfuls of stuff from you. Key though is how much love can exist in our hearts if we just allow it. R.I.P sweety.
All of us are affected by HIV&AIDS either directly or indirectly. We have all lost someone we know. Let that not be in vain. Let it be a light in our hearts that would make us do what is right so that we stop new infections, get treatment to those who need it, Access Voluntary Counseling and Testing to enable us make informed choices and Live life!!
So this Sunday, I will light candles for these incredible women who in their own way touched my life. I hope you light some too!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)