UNBELIEVABLE WOMEN:

I have been around enough jerks in my short life that I believe nothing about a man can shock me. Women? Not so much. I have more guy friends than I have women friends so I never really know much about what they are capable of. So that explains why I am honestly shocked by this particular woman.

My friend Mike and I go a long way back. The guy has been with me through mud and dirt, he is a nice guy….well not in every sense, he has a number of bad boy habits to his ratings but in general he is a nice guy. He is cute too. Tall and dark and his chest!!(I’m the chest girl) I mean, I’d probably be dating him if he didn’t get into the friendship basket.

Mike came over for a visit yesterday. He wanted us to go have a drink, I was tempted to say yes but I have an irritating cough that I need to get rid of before the weekend so I can’t drink. We stay home to catch up and for next hour or so my friend talks about nothing else but his girlfriend Fiona.

Fiona and Mike have been dating for two years now. She lives in Mombasa. Mike works and stays in Nairobi. Mike pays for the house she stays in, started a salon business for her and apparently has been making lifelong plans with her. She was to be his wife, mother of his kids and he trusted that their love would take all the challenges of the long distance relationship.
That wasn’t to be for as we sat in my house drinking coffee, Fiona was getting married to some Rich business man at the South coast.

Okay I have been around heartbroken women, I know the drill, we meet up a couple of friends for support then head to the ‘victims house’. We would call the bastard names, perhaps trying to convince our friend that she is better off without him. Binge on chocolate, ice cream, or wine as we rip off the bastard’s clothes and pictures. Sometimes we’d listen to ‘girl power.’ songs like ‘heartbreak hotel by witney Houston. Breakup parties are weird but fun. This is (on most occasions) the time that you get sooooo high and kiss the girl next to you. Perfectly normal seeing as we are hating on men the whole night (I read that from the net)

I however do not know how to deal with a heartbroken man, we can’t call this woman names because he thinks he understands why she chose the other guy over him. : I think he has more money than I do and well he is closer to her.” He tries rationalizing her actions
“Maybe I should have visited her more often.” He goes on. I want to scream. I am of course not allowed to say anything even as profanities build up in my head. So i nod and pretend to understand.

Crap! I don’t understand how a woman I met in October for three weeks, lived with my friend for three weeks, made plans with him for three weeks; goes off and gets married to some other guy a week later needs to be excused. That’s a mad woman. I don’t care if the guy is Donald trump or if his sex is great. There are afew things about being a polished and refined woman. And those are the women men need to marry. I am a bad girl but even I know the limits.
Women of grace don’t behave that way. Women of grace break up with guy number one then date guy number two. That way there are no issues when you decide to marry him.

Unless of course from the word go it’s clear to both of you that the relationship is about sex and fun. Then that’s a whole different script. That’s why they are called ‘open relationships’….there are no rules.
A small part of me feels sad for Mike, a big part is relieved he didn’t end up with this woman. God knows what levels of betrayal she is capable of. I am kind of sorry for ‘Coasto Donald trump’. I will bet alcohol for the next year that this guy will be raising a kid or two that aren’t his. And that my friend is why you shouldn’t marry a woman without a conscience!

*Names have been changed.

MUMMY NEVER SAID THERE WILL BE DAYS LIKE THIS

My mum, I must admit prepared me for every worse case scenario this world would throw at my feet. After all she took me to boarding school at age seven and from that early age I did learn how to fend for myself, to fight for the little resources available and to make myself heard. I mean I knew from a very early age that I couldn't physically fight, most of the girls I got into fights with always left me crying like a baby and wishing I was at home under the comforts of my daddy’s obsessive care. So I learnt how to fight with my words and my brains. Used to work perfectly fine…still does.

I believe my up bringing has made me the open minded person that I am today. Like I don’t think I shock easily at people’s revelations. I don’t sneer at what the society considers ‘immoral’. In fact I totally believe in freedom of expression. So long as what you are doing doesn’t hurt me or someone else then well you are free to indulge in it. What I tell people all the time is whatever choices we make come will a whole basket of responsibilities.

Something interesting did happen today. I am actually left wondering where I range in the ‘open minded people index’.

I got a visit from some lady today afternoon. Very pretty girl by the way. She wanted someone to talk to about HIV and stuff like that. We close the door to my office and chit chat about HIV and the need to go for the test and create awareness on the issue.

“You must take the test very often.” She says

“Why would you think that?’ I ask

“Because you work here and have access to the testing site all the time.” She replies laughing.

“Well, I don’t go for the test often, I went for it once and didn't need to do it again.” I reply.

Then we talk about me and HIV for a while. Grace (that’s what we will call her) tells me she would like to volunteer with us.

I tell her about our volunteer policy and that we don’t take people in the last quarter of the year because normally we are too busy to train people.

“How about you bring us your papers and we cal you first thing next year.” I suggest.

I notice she is getting uncomfortable and ask why. I wish I didn't ask because I don’t think anything prepared me for Grace’s revelation

Grace is a guy. As in completely dude dick, hairy chest and all. He just likes to dress up like a woman and be one. The closest I have been to some woman trapped in a guy’s body in on Tyra banks show. I didn't know what to say and for a moment I just kept staring at him/her.

He is a final year student and would really like for an opportunity to do his internship with us. He has been to other organizations but no one wants him there. He chose to come to us because he knows we fight stigma and discrimination.

“Please bring your papers tomorrow and lets see how we can help.” I say when I find my voice.

I honestly don’t know how best I will be of help to this guy; I don’t even know if I could. One things for sure. No one told me there would be a day like this!