Most times we often wonder why we should be good to people. I know because i get lectures about what a fool i am whenever i try to help and i end up being played- happens most of the time.
My friend Doris once told me i don't know how to look for the bad in people. Maybe she was right. Well situations make us change though.
So a few years later and living with this virus has made me a little weary of people and what they can do. Still old habits die hard. I am still easily reduced to tears at sad stories i hear from the women we serve. I feel so bad whenever i can't be able to help.
Mondays are my days in the office, i get to meet all the women in need of seed money as capital for business. I have to listen to their stories and decide which cases are needy. At the end of the day; whatever issue i have looks 'small'. -this should explain why i love my Monday drinks.
I have always been the 'mother Teresa' of the crowd. I still I'm to some extent only this time non of the people around me; friends and family will let me overindulge in the virtue/vice. You see most of the time when you give yourself to something or someone without question,you end up hurt.
A bout a year after my HIV positive verdict i took on the role of ' Aunt Tabby.' Everyone comes to me with all these problems they cant tell anyone. 'My boyfriend is cheating on me, what do i do?" or ' i have this condition is it normal?' or ' i want to go for a VCT test please take me.' I try to be there. Most of the time i give my all. My friends- the true ones have been with me through 'lots of stuff'.
I learnt something last week. That doing good isn't always in Vain. There will always be those bad cases but the good ones bring so much joy.
Last week, i was stressed because of something and i just couldn't be able to make a decision about what to do. I confided in one of my friends and afterwards i knew what i had to do. You see all she did was remind me something i said to her once. " People treat you the way you let them." I say this to my friends all the time. I also tell them to give their best to people so they can demand the best from them.
I never knew all this would rub off on me someday. Well whatever you do, it doesn't hurt to be Kidogo kind to someone, you just might never know what you reap from it.
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We are good to people because some of us just have that nature, we can't help being nice.
We get played because people know they can, and coz no matter how much they play you. you'll still be nice. it's a blessing, and a curse.
But it helps if you believe in karma, coz it'll be better on the other side
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