No matter how small and unimportant what we are doing may seem, if we do it well, it may soon become the step that will lead us to better things.
Ladies and Gentlemen; good afternoon.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share with you on this day. On behalf of KENWA, I would like to congratulate you on the launch of the peer educators program. This is evidently a way of Safaricom’s response to the fight against HIV and better living for all staff.
I stand before you in two capacities. First, as an employee of KENWA.
Secondly I stand here as a young woman living with HIV.
As a person living with HIV, the glass ceiling is a barrier that I’m forced to stare at everyday. It helps a lot to have an enabling environment for people like me and those affected by this virus to be able to live their productive lives.
I agree that in the recent past, PLHIV have made great strides in the attainment of fundamental rights; CSO’s have worked tirelessly to fight stigma & discrimination for PLHIV; but we can’t afford to pause. Not yet.
We need to educate people about ways of HIV prevention and management. To do so, we need an environment that is supportive to PLHIV and to everyone so that they are able to talk about HIV&AIDS issues. This enabling environment is what the peer educators program brings to this organization.
Four years ago I was just a normal girl having just graduated and getting into the job market. A chance visit to the VCT (I was actually taking a friend) had me dealing with my HIV+ Status.
The first question I asked the VCT counselor after she broke the news to me was “will I ever get a good job?”
Then, I was – according to the powers that be – a failure. In a system where success is measured by what job one gets after graduation, the size of one’s bank account and a negative HIV status, I was a letdown to my family and society. This ladies and gentlemen saw me lose my self esteem as days went by. I didn’t want to meet my friends or anyone I was in college with. I believed that they would think I deserve everything or say mean things about me. I sank into the shadows with every passing day
Looking back, I realize that – for the past 4 years – I have learnt so much from the school of “life”. I have learnt how to survive stigma and discrimination; I have discovered the value of simple things in life. I live a very positive life; I have confidence in my self. I know who I am and I am comfortable with that. I have discovered though painfully that there is more to me than being HIV+. I am human, a woman with all the needs any woman would have. I don’t need to lose my sexuality or my independence because society thinks so.
I am not afraid to reach out and realize my full potential. I have learnt to say clearly what I want and how I want it. (In the bedroom this is a plus quality. ask any man). With HIV each passing day is a learning experience. I had my fourth year anniversary on 10th of this month. I am not on medication, I haven’t been so sick I didn’t go to work. My last CD4 count was 791. I don’t have a magic life ladies and gentlemen, I live my life as normal as I can and just stay bubbly and happy. I am Lucky but mostly I am glad I found out about my status early enough.
When I tested positive I was literally shoved in to the deepest of ends. I had two options; sink or swim. At the time, I didn’t know of any young person living with this virus I could compare my life to. I knew of Asunta but well she was way over there age wise.
I wanted someone to tell me what to do incase a guy asks for my number, or what to do incase my friends ask why I’m not my usual self. I wanted someone to tell me I can still dress up, look hot and not necessarily feel like the devils advocate. I was alone and afraid. My friends were there for me; the ones who didn’t run off but they weren’t in my shoes.
I believe that, in the course of our lives, we are faced with these two tough options; sink or swim. There’s no in-between. And it’s even harder when you are HIV positive because, at times, fear – within and without –rules a big part of our lives. For example: “Will I be hired?” Will I ever date again, get married, and have a child?” Can I still meet my friends for fun or movies?’” “Will they still want to be friends once they find out?”
Testing HIV positive isn’t an easy thing, it spells doom and failure and no one in their prime age wants to be associated with this. The stigma and discrimination associated with the disease doesn’t help much.
For those of us who chose to swim against the tides of HIV-related anger, denial and prejudice, the going hasn’t been easy. What we need to realize is that even in the midst of trouble, illnesses or heartbreak, you can rise to the occasion. Asunta tells us all the time that “there is an opportunity in everything that goes on in our lives, even the disasters…especially the disasters.”
It is impossible for you to control the behavior of others but very easy to control your response to it. In dealing with stigma just realize that those who reject, hurt, betray or belittle you only ever have as much power as you give them.
I know I’m talking to someone in this meeting today. I am not asking for you to raise your hand up and shout “I have HIV.” I am telling you are not alone. There are so many people going through the same fears and challenges. You can’t beat this thing alone. Find a support system in say your friends or family or a support group. This helps a lot especially psychologically.
I was invited to speak on a number of issues in regards to HIV and the youth. The youth is a diversified group with each group requiring different messages.
Being young is awesome and fun. You have very little or no responsibilities. You want to fit into certain circles of friendships and as much as you won’t want to believe this, there is so much peer pressure even at this age. For some of us this is that age where we want to meet that someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. For others, this is the time to experiment and discover our self hence the orgies and bi-relationships. We all know what I am talking about.
We are always scared of changing that ‘fun spot’ we would rather die than face the HIV reality. This has made us a little careless or complacent where our sexual health is concerned.
I am not here to squash the fun part. I love fun; I have fun as much as anyone. It’s different when you make informed choices while you are at it.
Often when I go out for a drink with my friends, I find a guy or two who would like to take me home. I know we do all this sometimes, go out have fun and get ‘some’ from a random person we just met. Sometimes it’s that guy/chick you flirted with through out the party and asked out on a couple of dates. I just wonder if we ever ask them about their HIV status.
In my experience this topic never comes up. But just out of curiosity if they are indeed HIV positive what would we do? Food for thought.
Friends lets take responsibility for our sexual health. I hear a lot of stories from people (I have since become an aunty dolly of sorts) and what is sickening is how much we take for granted. Some girl once told me,
“He asked for us to use the condom and I said no. the condoms were sitting right there and I said no.” why? Because he didn’t have “the look”. She got HIV from this very guy.
I know of people who haven’t told their partners of their HIV+status. I know how easy it is to point fingers at them and call them evil. Having been there I will tell you how hard it is to disclose ones status to a potential lover. You have to go through rejection and for some women violence. Who wants that?
I have always wondered at what point of dating that one discusses things like “honey I have herpes or HIV.” Or “I had gonorrhea last year but I got treated.” That is why I will keep repeating this,
If you (think) are old enough to have sex then please have discussions about it, ensure you make informed choices while you are at it. If you can’t then please just abstain.
Most people still think they can pick out someone with HIV. Friends, there is no HIV look. There are no behaviors’ attributed to HIV either. Don’t think it’s the girl/guy seated in the bar drinking a soda or juice. You have to hang out with some guys from my office or support group to see what I mean.
To be safe, please just take care and take responsibility for your actions.
Ladies; (I don’t know about men) We often put up with a lot of things in the relationships we are in and when it finally comes to an end we sit down and call men names as we take in the ice-cream or do the alcohol binge. Girls, we need to stop and realize that everything that happens to us is as much our responsibility. This isn’t the era of naiveté. Take responsibility for the choices you make or that affect your life.
Women have continuously born the brunt of HIV&AIDS. This is because of factors such as our socioeconomic setup, our patriarchal system which makes most women dependent on men.
If I was giving this speech in Mathare then I would ask for measures to ensure the women are economically empowered to be able to be independent and negotiate for safer sex.
This however may not be a message for the women here.
Times are changing and women have proven they can be as good in almost any field professionally. What hasn’t changed though is our perception. To me this is one reason why the gender issues aren’t well addressed or articulated.
We should ask ourselves this; what do you tell a working woman who is economically able to do so as to have safe sex? What kind of empowerment is necessary? Is it capacities in terms of building esteem? Or creating knowledge on their rights? That aside,
I wonder why to date women still make/feel having a condom available is a man’s responsibility.
I wonder how many women have condoms in their bags. When you meet that random guy say after your 5th drink, what happens if none of you has a condom? A girl friend of mine got pregnant at the start of this year from a fling; she told me that the ones the guy had run out. Wouldn’t we be talking a different story if she had some with her?
Let me confess. I always have some with me for when the ‘craving strikes.’ Believe me this is the best form of sexual liberation; being able to discuss what I want before I hop into bed.
The female physiological make up makes us twice more vulnerable to HIV infection compared to men. It also makes us potentially able to know about our HIV status before our male partners. We go to the hospital more often (gynecological/paediatric issues). Most of the time this has seen most women blamed for HIV infections. This is why KENWA has special bias programs that are women empowering.
The recent KAIS reports the prevalence of HIV between people aged 15-49 is 12% for women and 7.5% for men.
This calls for more action by all of us to ensure infection rates go down. We need to build esteems for women and girls Normally when one isn’t confident about who they are, are depressed or have issues like body image, or peer pressure, they are vulnerable to doing things just to please their partners. Empower women and girls to know their rights, create awareness on myths and misconceptions about issues that affect women for example issues on violence against women and girls. We need to create an enabling environment for women and girls to be able to explore their full potential. This means getting the men and women together on board as we plan and implement our programs.
Speaking of the KIAS report, out of the 1.4million HIV infected Kenyans, 83% of them don’t know they are infected. These are the people we have random naughty nights with ladies and gentlemen. HIV aside, there are STI’s potentially in your lovers body waiting to get to you.
Treatment for PLHIV or any other ailment needs planning and support. HIV&AIDS treatment requires a plan that has in place strategies to ensure the client is taken care of all round. (Emotionally, physically, spiritually and economically) You may need to come up with referral strategies for the various services that you may not be able to offer. Having partnerships and working hand in hand with organizations helps a lot. The key thing is as you set out to encourage prevention of HIV infections and possible increase of VCT uptake. You need a plan for those who will find out they are HIV positive.
Ladies and gentlemen lets not forget to use what we have at our disposal to respond to the fight against HIV. Through ICT (information communication technology) we can be able to bridge distance and other logistical barriers in a cost effective way that will build knowledge and create awareness on issues of HIV&AIDS. The use of blogs, websites and interactive forums like MySpace or facebook are an easy way to get to the population that is your workforce.
Friends, like I said earlier, it isn’t easy for one to disclose their status. For one to do so there has to be a supportive environment for them to be in. What this program needs is a role model that people can look up to. This is Kenya and looking up to people is our way of life.
KENWA is ready to work in partnership with you especially in supporting living positively for PLHIV. Living positively with HIV requires the input of everyone around you; nutritionist, gynecologist, pharmacist, counselor, pastor, family, friends, doctor and a support group.
I know that some of you are living in silence; but that doesn’t mean that you can’t live positively. If disclosure isn’t your cup of coffee, you can still hold your head up in silent defiance. Don’t let anything or anyone limit your dreams.
please know that my arms are wide open; my ears are accessible; and that my shoulders still have enough space for one more hurting person. This is 2008, not 1987. You don’t have to be alone. Together, we can walk the next mile.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share with you on this day. On behalf of KENWA, I would like to congratulate you on the launch of the peer educators program. This is evidently a way of Safaricom’s response to the fight against HIV and better living for all staff.
I stand before you in two capacities. First, as an employee of KENWA.
Secondly I stand here as a young woman living with HIV.
As a person living with HIV, the glass ceiling is a barrier that I’m forced to stare at everyday. It helps a lot to have an enabling environment for people like me and those affected by this virus to be able to live their productive lives.
I agree that in the recent past, PLHIV have made great strides in the attainment of fundamental rights; CSO’s have worked tirelessly to fight stigma & discrimination for PLHIV; but we can’t afford to pause. Not yet.
We need to educate people about ways of HIV prevention and management. To do so, we need an environment that is supportive to PLHIV and to everyone so that they are able to talk about HIV&AIDS issues. This enabling environment is what the peer educators program brings to this organization.
Four years ago I was just a normal girl having just graduated and getting into the job market. A chance visit to the VCT (I was actually taking a friend) had me dealing with my HIV+ Status.
The first question I asked the VCT counselor after she broke the news to me was “will I ever get a good job?”
Then, I was – according to the powers that be – a failure. In a system where success is measured by what job one gets after graduation, the size of one’s bank account and a negative HIV status, I was a letdown to my family and society. This ladies and gentlemen saw me lose my self esteem as days went by. I didn’t want to meet my friends or anyone I was in college with. I believed that they would think I deserve everything or say mean things about me. I sank into the shadows with every passing day
Looking back, I realize that – for the past 4 years – I have learnt so much from the school of “life”. I have learnt how to survive stigma and discrimination; I have discovered the value of simple things in life. I live a very positive life; I have confidence in my self. I know who I am and I am comfortable with that. I have discovered though painfully that there is more to me than being HIV+. I am human, a woman with all the needs any woman would have. I don’t need to lose my sexuality or my independence because society thinks so.
I am not afraid to reach out and realize my full potential. I have learnt to say clearly what I want and how I want it. (In the bedroom this is a plus quality. ask any man). With HIV each passing day is a learning experience. I had my fourth year anniversary on 10th of this month. I am not on medication, I haven’t been so sick I didn’t go to work. My last CD4 count was 791. I don’t have a magic life ladies and gentlemen, I live my life as normal as I can and just stay bubbly and happy. I am Lucky but mostly I am glad I found out about my status early enough.
When I tested positive I was literally shoved in to the deepest of ends. I had two options; sink or swim. At the time, I didn’t know of any young person living with this virus I could compare my life to. I knew of Asunta but well she was way over there age wise.
I wanted someone to tell me what to do incase a guy asks for my number, or what to do incase my friends ask why I’m not my usual self. I wanted someone to tell me I can still dress up, look hot and not necessarily feel like the devils advocate. I was alone and afraid. My friends were there for me; the ones who didn’t run off but they weren’t in my shoes.
I believe that, in the course of our lives, we are faced with these two tough options; sink or swim. There’s no in-between. And it’s even harder when you are HIV positive because, at times, fear – within and without –rules a big part of our lives. For example: “Will I be hired?” Will I ever date again, get married, and have a child?” Can I still meet my friends for fun or movies?’” “Will they still want to be friends once they find out?”
Testing HIV positive isn’t an easy thing, it spells doom and failure and no one in their prime age wants to be associated with this. The stigma and discrimination associated with the disease doesn’t help much.
For those of us who chose to swim against the tides of HIV-related anger, denial and prejudice, the going hasn’t been easy. What we need to realize is that even in the midst of trouble, illnesses or heartbreak, you can rise to the occasion. Asunta tells us all the time that “there is an opportunity in everything that goes on in our lives, even the disasters…especially the disasters.”
It is impossible for you to control the behavior of others but very easy to control your response to it. In dealing with stigma just realize that those who reject, hurt, betray or belittle you only ever have as much power as you give them.
I know I’m talking to someone in this meeting today. I am not asking for you to raise your hand up and shout “I have HIV.” I am telling you are not alone. There are so many people going through the same fears and challenges. You can’t beat this thing alone. Find a support system in say your friends or family or a support group. This helps a lot especially psychologically.
I was invited to speak on a number of issues in regards to HIV and the youth. The youth is a diversified group with each group requiring different messages.
Being young is awesome and fun. You have very little or no responsibilities. You want to fit into certain circles of friendships and as much as you won’t want to believe this, there is so much peer pressure even at this age. For some of us this is that age where we want to meet that someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. For others, this is the time to experiment and discover our self hence the orgies and bi-relationships. We all know what I am talking about.
We are always scared of changing that ‘fun spot’ we would rather die than face the HIV reality. This has made us a little careless or complacent where our sexual health is concerned.
I am not here to squash the fun part. I love fun; I have fun as much as anyone. It’s different when you make informed choices while you are at it.
Often when I go out for a drink with my friends, I find a guy or two who would like to take me home. I know we do all this sometimes, go out have fun and get ‘some’ from a random person we just met. Sometimes it’s that guy/chick you flirted with through out the party and asked out on a couple of dates. I just wonder if we ever ask them about their HIV status.
In my experience this topic never comes up. But just out of curiosity if they are indeed HIV positive what would we do? Food for thought.
Friends lets take responsibility for our sexual health. I hear a lot of stories from people (I have since become an aunty dolly of sorts) and what is sickening is how much we take for granted. Some girl once told me,
“He asked for us to use the condom and I said no. the condoms were sitting right there and I said no.” why? Because he didn’t have “the look”. She got HIV from this very guy.
I know of people who haven’t told their partners of their HIV+status. I know how easy it is to point fingers at them and call them evil. Having been there I will tell you how hard it is to disclose ones status to a potential lover. You have to go through rejection and for some women violence. Who wants that?
I have always wondered at what point of dating that one discusses things like “honey I have herpes or HIV.” Or “I had gonorrhea last year but I got treated.” That is why I will keep repeating this,
If you (think) are old enough to have sex then please have discussions about it, ensure you make informed choices while you are at it. If you can’t then please just abstain.
Most people still think they can pick out someone with HIV. Friends, there is no HIV look. There are no behaviors’ attributed to HIV either. Don’t think it’s the girl/guy seated in the bar drinking a soda or juice. You have to hang out with some guys from my office or support group to see what I mean.
To be safe, please just take care and take responsibility for your actions.
Ladies; (I don’t know about men) We often put up with a lot of things in the relationships we are in and when it finally comes to an end we sit down and call men names as we take in the ice-cream or do the alcohol binge. Girls, we need to stop and realize that everything that happens to us is as much our responsibility. This isn’t the era of naiveté. Take responsibility for the choices you make or that affect your life.
Women have continuously born the brunt of HIV&AIDS. This is because of factors such as our socioeconomic setup, our patriarchal system which makes most women dependent on men.
If I was giving this speech in Mathare then I would ask for measures to ensure the women are economically empowered to be able to be independent and negotiate for safer sex.
This however may not be a message for the women here.
Times are changing and women have proven they can be as good in almost any field professionally. What hasn’t changed though is our perception. To me this is one reason why the gender issues aren’t well addressed or articulated.
We should ask ourselves this; what do you tell a working woman who is economically able to do so as to have safe sex? What kind of empowerment is necessary? Is it capacities in terms of building esteem? Or creating knowledge on their rights? That aside,
I wonder why to date women still make/feel having a condom available is a man’s responsibility.
I wonder how many women have condoms in their bags. When you meet that random guy say after your 5th drink, what happens if none of you has a condom? A girl friend of mine got pregnant at the start of this year from a fling; she told me that the ones the guy had run out. Wouldn’t we be talking a different story if she had some with her?
Let me confess. I always have some with me for when the ‘craving strikes.’ Believe me this is the best form of sexual liberation; being able to discuss what I want before I hop into bed.
The female physiological make up makes us twice more vulnerable to HIV infection compared to men. It also makes us potentially able to know about our HIV status before our male partners. We go to the hospital more often (gynecological/paediatric issues). Most of the time this has seen most women blamed for HIV infections. This is why KENWA has special bias programs that are women empowering.
The recent KAIS reports the prevalence of HIV between people aged 15-49 is 12% for women and 7.5% for men.
This calls for more action by all of us to ensure infection rates go down. We need to build esteems for women and girls Normally when one isn’t confident about who they are, are depressed or have issues like body image, or peer pressure, they are vulnerable to doing things just to please their partners. Empower women and girls to know their rights, create awareness on myths and misconceptions about issues that affect women for example issues on violence against women and girls. We need to create an enabling environment for women and girls to be able to explore their full potential. This means getting the men and women together on board as we plan and implement our programs.
Speaking of the KIAS report, out of the 1.4million HIV infected Kenyans, 83% of them don’t know they are infected. These are the people we have random naughty nights with ladies and gentlemen. HIV aside, there are STI’s potentially in your lovers body waiting to get to you.
Treatment for PLHIV or any other ailment needs planning and support. HIV&AIDS treatment requires a plan that has in place strategies to ensure the client is taken care of all round. (Emotionally, physically, spiritually and economically) You may need to come up with referral strategies for the various services that you may not be able to offer. Having partnerships and working hand in hand with organizations helps a lot. The key thing is as you set out to encourage prevention of HIV infections and possible increase of VCT uptake. You need a plan for those who will find out they are HIV positive.
Ladies and gentlemen lets not forget to use what we have at our disposal to respond to the fight against HIV. Through ICT (information communication technology) we can be able to bridge distance and other logistical barriers in a cost effective way that will build knowledge and create awareness on issues of HIV&AIDS. The use of blogs, websites and interactive forums like MySpace or facebook are an easy way to get to the population that is your workforce.
Friends, like I said earlier, it isn’t easy for one to disclose their status. For one to do so there has to be a supportive environment for them to be in. What this program needs is a role model that people can look up to. This is Kenya and looking up to people is our way of life.
KENWA is ready to work in partnership with you especially in supporting living positively for PLHIV. Living positively with HIV requires the input of everyone around you; nutritionist, gynecologist, pharmacist, counselor, pastor, family, friends, doctor and a support group.
I know that some of you are living in silence; but that doesn’t mean that you can’t live positively. If disclosure isn’t your cup of coffee, you can still hold your head up in silent defiance. Don’t let anything or anyone limit your dreams.
please know that my arms are wide open; my ears are accessible; and that my shoulders still have enough space for one more hurting person. This is 2008, not 1987. You don’t have to be alone. Together, we can walk the next mile.
Thank you.
9 comments:
Hello, I like this blog.
Sorry not write more, but my English is not good.
A hug from Portugal
Finally made it through. Great speech, hope you got a standing ovation, I know I would have been on my feet clapping.
Powerful speech and i have learnt a few from it.
First time here and all I can say is you are a very courageous woman.
Life is beautiful and its us who make it that. Keep strong and the sky is the limit for all your ambitions.
Am sure your son is very proud of you and shall be more proud one day when he knows that you have lived your full life and never fading despite the stigma surrounding you.
Be blessed!
the pain we are all having is real, but there is hope..
please check out http://phiroyogi.blogspot.com
Thank you all for the encouragement.@ Kafai, si you jua i wouldnt be this bold without your support. So thanks lots!
Very encouraging. Standing ovation from this end too!
Strong words and I admire the courage. Keep it up.
hi girl,you are my inspiration.you are just God sent and i hope to just lern so so much from you..each day by your side i take it as a blessing..im looking forward to living HIV positive and to the fullest!kudos!
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