RELIGIOUS OR HUMAN

"I have no doubt about it that [if] Jesus were here today, he'd be hanging out with people who have HIV/AIDS," he said on CNN. "There's no doubt in my mind about that because they are the lepers of the 21st century." Rick Warren, pastor and author of The Purpose-Driven Life.

I don’t frequent the church and have often wondered why i am lethargic most Sundays. I went to Boarding school so young, and this being a catholic school we were expected to be up early to attend morning mass. I was seven years at the time; I didn’t understand why we had to wake up so early or why we had to chant prayers every evening before bed. Before long, I viewed going to church as one of the boring school activities and sometimes punishment.
Every time I could go confess my sins, depending on how big or small they were(that is what I thought at the time) I would be asked to say as many as 50hail Mary’s to seek penance for my sins. Out of school and everything that was routine. Well once in a while I would religiously go to church but then at some point wasn’t so enthusiastic about it.

I am not a saint, I tell that to people all the time, in fact I clarify that I am not very religious. I have a relationship with God (though I know some will argue that this isn’t possible if I don’t go to church) and I have hope and faith. I believe in doing Good things to people, giving hope and being able to sleep at night knowing very well I put a smile on someone’s face.
I think this is the reason I am surrounded by friends who are religious (Saved) and even hold positions of office in their various churches. We respect each others opinion and that works just fine. One of these people is Catherine. Allow me to Digress

I wrote about Catherine a couple of Months ago. She was so sick at the time and we all thought she would die. Catherine was pregnant and dumped by the father of her baby. She stressed about it and got so sick she was in and out of hospital. Well she did have her baby-prematurely. She lost the baby five days later and was so devastated. She is okay now and going through counseling to help her cope with her loses.

Catherine and I have long talks all the time. Any person living with this virus openly will tell you how much talking about our issues head on is therapeutic. So today Catherine wanted to talk and as I let her into my office and closed the door, I saw tears in her eyes. I expected her to talk about the baby or her stupid ex but that’s not what is bugging her today.
Catherine feels pained by the actions or lack of them from her church through out her darkest and lowest moment. She confided in her ‘cell leader’ about being pregnant and the man leaving her.

“I could see from her eyes that she wasn’t happy.” she sadly remembers. After a lot of soul-searching and of course tears Catherine stepped down from her position in the church. “I didn’t want them to tell me to step down.” She says
“Last Sunday when I went to church, my cell members were all greeting me full of smiles and telling me they are sorry about me being sick.” Catherine has tears in her eyes now.

All Catherine would silently ask herself was “what did you guys do when you found out I was sick?” no body mentioned about her baby and I guess this was a taboo topic of discussion.
A long lecture from her cell leader is what’s bugging my friend the most. This leader believes that Catherine isn’t sick for no reason but because “she left Gods path and was being punished for it.” Then she implied that the baby dying was sort of justified because this wasn’t God’s child. God’s children are born within marriages I guess.

I am not religious but I know damn well what being human is. I guess most of what the religious books that we read (regardless of our religions) do is to teach us how to be humane. Being humane asks this of us; to be kindhearted and compassionate and loving. It’s empathizing with someone and offering a helping hand even if that person is a total stranger.

I don’t know what happens in cell groups but I guess it wouldn’t be different from what happens in my support group. People meeting once in a while to learn from each other and constantly watch out for each other. Catherine has been in this church for close to a decade and she doesn’t even get a text message to acknowledge her pain. How mean are these people?

I have seen this girl go through worse times in the last few months. This is the time she needed all her friends. I have seen all of us (most who don’t even go to any church) do everything in our power to get her all the help (medical or otherwise) that she needs.
We rejoiced with her when her baby was born. We offered our shoulders for her to cry when the baby passed on. Called and sent messages to give her support, to let her know she would pull through. We urged her to pick up the pieces of her heart that were so messed up and move on.
I wonder how hard it was for these people who share a spiritual bond with Catherine to even send a text message. Even one that says, “We are praying for your quick recovery.”

Most of all I wonder why people act so perfect when they have lives full of imperfections. If Jesus were in Catherine’s ‘cell’ is that how he would have treated her? Pretend nothing was going on when she was sick and later pass on judgment to justify why he wasn’t there for her in time of need?

The few times I have been in church I hear us tell each other how much Jesus loved us and how we should love each other in the same way. What does this mean?
Are we Christians because we go to church or are we Christians because we practice the teachings of Jesus? I honestly would like to know.