TRICKY SITUATIONS.

Mary and I go way back. We both went to the same primary and high school. Her mother was a singe mum and so hot most of us secretly wished she was our mum. Well now that I am fully grown and a single mum I think so highly of her.

Last week I got a call from Mary at night, I didn’t have her number before so when she told me who she was I was excited. “Hie nyako how have you been?” I asked excited
“Flo I need to talk to you.” She replies, no laughter in her voice.
I get that dreadful feeling knowing fully well what this call and meeting is all about. I get these calls everyday but it’s different when it’s someone I know. I ask her to come over the following day.

She did come home on Sunday, she actually woke me up. We close the door to my room and she starts crying. She has been crying since Friday she says as she gives me a piece of paper.
I look at it and it’s the paper that has her results on it. My friend is HIV positive. I let her cry for a while.
“Does your husband know?” I ask
“No, I haven’t told him yet” she replies
“What made you take the test?” I inquire because normally couples are advised to go for couples counseling and then testing.
“I have been so sick in the last three months so my doctor suggested it.” She tells me amid sobs.
Mary is worries at how to tell her husband about her status. I know a lot of women who are in this situation. Most of them fear that the guys will accuse them of being promiscuous, or walk away; some get beaten up both physically and emotionally. This makes most women just go quiet and secretly waste away.

“You have to tell him sweetie,” I try to make her see sense.
“How is your relationship with him?” I ask
“We don’t talk much, he comes home at 2am in the morning and I mostly just sulk.” She says.
“Does he drink?” I ask
“No” she replies and I question what a man who doesn’t drink would be doing out till 2am. Mary doesn’t know, she also doesn’t know exactly what her husband does. He goes out of town for work and can stay away for as long as two weeks.

I insist that she tells her husband however difficult it may be for her. Mary has a child from a previous relationship and is sort of wishing that her husband would just leave.
“I wish he tests negative and then leaves us alone.” She says
“You are just saying that because you are angry.” I say
“No Flo, I was leaving him. My mum insisted I stay but I am so fed up.”

I help Mary to get admission at my clinic on Monday and she calls me to tell me she is fine and will be talking to her husband in a bit. A big part of me was so sure that this will just be a normal case of couples finding out they are both HIV+

I wasn’t prepared for Mary’s call on Wednesday evening. “Flo I am in deep shit.” She says
“Why?” I ask concerned.
“I just came home to find my husbands test results on my dressing table.” She explains
“Ehe?”
“He is HIV negative. How can that be?” she starts to cry again.
“You need to compose your self my dear.” I reply as I explain how normal it is to have discordant couples. I tell her to brace herself because there will be accusations when her husband comes home.
“If you need help talking to me, please let me know okay?” I say. We talk some more and hang up with Mary composed enough.

Later on that night I wondered what I’d do if I was in her shoes. How do you explain to a difficult Luo man how you test HIV+ and he doesn’t after living with him for two years? You need a Houdini act to get out of this one. I definitely don’t want to be in those shoes.