APPRECIATING MY FRIENDS

Last week I got an opportunity to help some teachers at Kenya Istitute of Education (KIE) come up with radio programs on HIV & AIDS for school children. Part of the training required that I tell my story and they would use it to script the programs. As I went through the week answering all their questions I couldn’t help realizing the influence of family and friends in shaping the positive strong person I am today.

I am slowing down my otherwise very dynamic working life to think of and appreciate various people who have seen me through the worst moments of my HIV positive life.

After the verdict of my HIV status, I painfully lost a number of friends. The bright side of all this is that I made some more. These are the people I would do anything for because they give my life meaning each day.Tehyi Hsieh once said,
“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose."
If asked at random to name people who have helped shape my life in the last four years, I would say……(not in any particular order)

Sam Kantai; I met him in my 1st year at the university. We didn’t get too close though until after graduation and fate had us become neighbors. He saw me through the confusion of the first few months into my HIV positive verdict, to the pain of losing my job and being so angry with God and the world. He taught me the value of spirituality. I don’t know where I would be at if I didn’t have him to run to.

Mary W.; Mary was one of my supervisors during my internship. We became friends though and still are. She saw me through the worst relationship of my life. She made me understand how not to let men treat me and how to calmly walk away from all the pain. She handled my disclosure so well, didn’t cry or whatever, has always been the logical person I would ask advise on anything.

Esther; Former workmate became my friend exactly one month after I discovered my HIV status. She was always there when I needed to go for a quick cry in the ‘ladies room’. She listened to me when I went on and on about my fears, took me to my first clinic, held my hand and say me through the new experience. Now she laughs with me.

F. Rache; My dear roommate from college. We have different personalities yet are so alike. In her own way she is always there whenever I need her. Encourages me to see things in the positive. She is there when I need to cry, or talk forever about anything however stupid, or go dancing or drink silly in celebration of whatever.

D.Muigei; My college friend. So near yet so far away. Thanks to technology though we are in constant communication. Always encouraging me to go on even when the going gets tough, for her sense of humor, for not treating me any different and always bonding with me whenever she is in the country however busy she may be.

Ojay; He learnt of my status through gossip and reached out to me. I wouldn’t begin to name all that he has done for me…all the time reaching out…its just too much. I would describe him in these words. A true friend.

Shi’; One of my newest friends yet so close. She took me out of a miserable box last year, taught me how to laugh again, how to be positive about my situation even in public. Was helpful during the first few days when I decided to go public about my HIV status. Quelled my fears, held my hands, celebrated my small victories, and always strived to make me realize I was special and can be anything I wanted to be. She teaches me everyday not to apologize for my blessings. And to stretch my potential for the sake of all those people who look up to me.

Josaya; New friend too. From him I have learnt the value of patience and relationships; I have learnt not to listen to peoples negative talks, not to give up on what I consider my purpose. With his help I discovered I could write, I could encourage and give hope. His opinions mean a lot to me.

There are some more who have influenced my life and who I will forever be grateful to; Masawa, Cecelia, Nyasaka, hill, Kombo, Mike, Peter, and Joyce.

So this week I am doing the reaching out, calling all of these guys and trying to see if I can meet as many of them as I can. To show gratitude and appreciation for my relationships.
Iyanla Vanzant once said,
“My most courageous moment is not a moment at all but a series of moments strung together around a singular theme: telling myself the truth, the truth about who I am, about what I want, about what I'm doing. That takes an incredible amount of guts, faith, and strength. For me, it's most challenging in relationships. Some people do their learning in careers. Some people do their learning alone. Me, I do my greatest learning in relationships.”